Friday, July 30

Socially Weary

I'm one of those people who recharges by having down time and quiet time. If I'm going going going for several days and always surrounded by people, I walk away drained.

I know, I know...some people don't understand people like sister being one of them. (She is a people person in and out. If she's alone, she goes crazy. We're like night/day, yin/yang, potatoes/gravy...maybe that's why we get along so well.) But I digress...

Inevitably, there will always be some people in our lives who require more energy and typically make us weary faster...we all have those people, right? Or is it just me? I quickly think of one coworker from Germany and a dear friend of mine from church and presently, my current coworker. It's not that these people try to be demanding; it is just that something about their personality raises stress levels in me to the point that I find myself sitting one day, wanting to cry and spend hours in silence by myself, because I'm so tired.

My dear friend, who is now deceased, was a sweetheart and a true cheerleader for all that I was and ever did. She was wonderful but she, like my sister, craved the presence of people, and in the final year of her life, she was in and out of hospitals fighting pneumonia, MRSA, and much much pain. Her balm was people and she especially wanted her close friends to be with her. I spent numerous hours with her and even though I loved her dearly, I got to the point where I wanted to hide and cry and be alone. The need/expectancy was too much. I'm glad I hung in there and miss her often but it was so hard.

Today is a day where I just feel socially weary. My coworker has been charged up this past week, often grumbling/mumbling and venting to me and such...and I am tired. I want to go and hide and be by myself. But then I wonder, do I really want to be by myself or would I just feel tired and very much alone?

Just as there are people who drain energy, there are others who breathe energy and life. People who encourage, laugh, and can just be. Yes, I think some alone down time would be great but it would also be great after an hour or two if just the right friend came along to pull me up and out; to re-excite me for life, for what God is doing, and for the little things that bring delight! That sounds much better than hiding away, doesn't it?

Wednesday, July 28

A Cooking Frenzy

I have been in a experimental mood lately in the kitchen.
A good way to procrastinate from my thesis paper.

Here's two good things I've enjoyed lately:

Asian Noodle Salad: Although I tweaked this recipe and mine had all green veggies. I also used Yakisoba noodles instead of linguine noodles. Very tasty although this makes a huge amount of salad once you throw everything in, especially when cooking for one person. Be ye warned!

Strawberry Fruit Roll Ups: This ended up being very easy! You do have to let them bake in a low-temperature oven for 8-10 hours but enjoyable!

Things I'll be making soon:

Marshmallows: I'm just going to make these because it sounds fun and interesting. I might add Maple flavor for kicks.

Dulce de Leche: Again, just sounds amusing! I might give it away as a gift...I might make this coffee treat...who knows!

Split Pea Soup: Doesn't this sound good? Granted if our 80 degree weather continues, I'll be putting this one off a bit. I might be tempted if it drops into the 70s.

Banana Split Ice Cream Cake: Today is my sister's birthday and tomorrow us siblings are having dinner together (guess who's cooking?). This gorgeous cake is the chosen birthday cake. Can't wait to make it. And eat it!

That's it! I know...I'm probably wonder my thesis paper is coming along slowly, right?

None of the pictures are mine...they all belong to the recipe creators. And I should mention that all the recipes are from Tasty Kitchen...clearly I spend too much time perusing that site! Now, back to homework...

A Poem and Photo

Roses are Red
But Violets are Blue
Isn't that ironic?
but oh so very true!

Tuesday, July 27


The day is normal, just like any other A never ending list of things to do


Suddenly the room feels stuffy
my heart is longing for something more
for contact, for interaction, for life

I move to the balcony and step through the door
The cool breeze surrounds me
As I pause at the railing
and breathe

Monday, July 26

The Lump in my Throat

The past few days have been kind of stinky.

My cell phone went kaputz...well, technically my number did but the one little problem cause hours and hours of phone conversations with the cell-phone company. Even now, I have been issued a new cell phone number but my phone is only about 75% fixed. I no longer care about the stupid phone. I've decided to not spend more hours on the phone with them.

Then work...we had a major problem which started Thursday, spilled over into Friday and kind of blew up on Friday, and then spilled over into today's workload. It's a problem where I can do nothing right because the only option we are being given is to do what the customer (Costco) wants, which isn't possible. I hate being set up to fail from the very beginning. *Sigh* I was supposed to get off work on Friday at 2pm but didn't make it out of there until 3:30pm. I had never felt so drained...all I wanted to do was to crawl into a dark hole and fall asleep, without dreaming of Costco, who was not my favorite company at that moment.

Finally, on Saturday, I went to a wedding. Weddings are supposed to be joyous celebrations. Instead, this one broke my heart, even though it was indeed beautiful. The bride's family have been life-long family friends. Our parents met before I was born. I am smack dab in between their two first sons, whom I still consider my friends, along with their wives. Simply put, I love this family.

I remember one time, maybe in high school (?) I sent a letter to the mom (we'll call her Jane Doe) telling her how much I loved her family and that her and John were such good parents. I loved how close their family was and of course, that they all loved Jesus. Sweet, isn't it?

One summer break from college, while I was still at my parents home, I called up the oldest son and his wife to say hi and invite them over for dinner since my parents were on vacation. They proceeded to tell me his parents were getting divorced. Their news made me catch my breath in shock. Never, ever would I have guessed this. This sweet close family, that I've know my whole life...divorce...what??? As soon as I got off the phone, I started sobbing. It's been approximately 10 years since then and I still get a lump in my throat when I think about this family.

The bride was beautiful...the wedding was full of happiness...but what stood out to me was that the dad, John Doe, wasn't invited to his daughter's wedding and the oldest son and his wife didn't come either. How heartbreaking! I cried almost the whole way home. Families aren't meant to be like this.

May this next week be productive. May it include unexpected blessings. May I be a blessing to others. May there be laughter instead of tears, unless the tears come from abundant laughter.

Thursday, July 22

Do you see what I see?

Last year I went to Germany for a visit that was much too short.

I saw some of my kiddos. Managed a visit to the Eis Cafe for some gelato. Managed a visit to the doner kebap haus for a bit of doner goodness! Had a cappuchino with a dear former Bible study leader. And surprisingly, was even able to squeeze in a trip to the beautiful city of Basel, Switzerland with my dear friend!

Ahhh Basel...every trip has been a treat!

This particular visit Shelia and I went to Starbucks for coffee and then walked around a few of the cobblestone streets. Much to our surprise, when we got to one of the main squares in the city we found ourselves watching beach volleyball.

Beach volleyball in the middle of the city! The closest "beach" to Basel are the banks of the Rhein river. But sure enough there were seats, sand, music, and players. Shelia and I watched for the tiniest amount and to commemorate this funny scene, I took the following picture:

It wasn't until I posted this on my facebook page, after the trip was over, that someone pointed out to me that the view would be better without the butt crack that I had never previously seen. How did I miss that? No idea! Clearly I was looking at the sand and the players instead of the guy on the side.

The moral of the story is that when you are trying to capture a "special" moment, make sure its not more "special" than you desired/expected. :)

Wednesday, July 21

In The Tank

About two weeks ago, I went to the doctor and had some blood drawn for various tests.
Monday, I went to the doctor to find out the results.

Everything is good.
Blood count...check!
Sugar levels...check!
A bunch of other things...check, check, check!!!

But then the doctor came to the very last number and informed me that my Vitamin D levels were in the tank. I asked him what that means and then immediately remembered Vitamin D is related to the sun! I started laughing. Not enough sunshine...check!

Maybe it's the fact that WA has been extra overcast this year...check!
Maybe it's the fact that I work inside all day...check
Maybe it's the fact that I study inside all evening and weekend...check!
Yep, that will do it!

I should have asked for a doctor's note to be excused from work for a couple days of sun therapy!

Tuesday, July 20

Ode to my cell phone

Oh how I often dislike you.
Sure you can be convenient or helpful at times.
But also unnecessary, a money-guzzler, and time waster.

Oh how I wish I could drop you.
Sure people would be irritated at only being able to minimally reach me.
But due to unsafe societies for women or cars that break down, I keep you along.
Grudgingly so.

Oh to be Amish...a life of simplicity...
--No unwanted calls by random solicitors who happen to find or dial your cell phone number; no texts from the phone company telling you what great deals are available or that it is time to renew; no useless texts from people who lovingly send one-word texts that cost as much as a 20 word text, like yes, no, or thanks; and sometimes you are really lucky to received one-letter or one-number text...those are a real treat, like "k."

--No hour long phone calls, to who knows where but most likely outside of the USA phone calls, whenever we have a problem we need to fix that undoubtedly will take at least three phone calls which means at least three hours to fix when all that will need to be done is to enter some silly code and voila! it works again. And of course, the only time you can call for help is during work hours which probably isn't work-friendly per the boss or customers.

--No unused minutes because even though they roll over, you are still required to buy more minutes by a certain date which means that instead of minutes actually going down, each time you renew your unused minute count gets higher and higher which is a lot like money going down the drain if you ask me. Oh and if you don't renew your minutes by the magical date, you lose your phone number which I just did...yay me! Now I can spend all my cell phone minutes trying to remember to call everyone important to give them my new cell phone number but only once I know the new number and once my cell phone works again which will take another phone call to arrange, at least.

--No need to worry about changing cell phone laws: can I or can't I? Bluetooth or no bluetooth? First offense or second offense? Make all the rules you want for the people who drive recklessly or slowly because they need to get out of my way and shouldn't be so distracted except that I (still) have a cell phone (even though its not working) so as of now the laws still affect me (unless I can justify throwing it away).

Monday, July 19

One thing I want

Dear Santa--

I know this letter comes a bit early this year but I know what I want so why wait?

Since I don't make a practice to bribe people, I won't promise you to be a very good girl if you get me what I want. I mean, I'll try to be a good girl regardless and I hope you'll get me what I want but both are mutually exclusive of each other.

I know I haven't written you a letter in approximately...well...actually never. But there's a first for everything. If possible, could you please send me the following (I even included a picture just to be clear):

I don't believe that you are some cosmic grandfather waiting to spoil me just because. I'm more inclined to believe that like your legends of old, your sole intention is to bless others, most especially those in need. So it's only fair that if I am the recipient of your blessing, I should be willing to bless others too, which I try to do. So I came with the following list of how I can bless others with the above Schwinn bike:

1. I could encourage people to buy their own bike for pleasure and exercise.
2. I could use the back rack thing to carry people's things.
3. I could bring joy to someone who watches me ride with excitement...although I'm not really sure how much joy that could bring.
4. I could bring joy to people as they remember the days of their childhood when they too had a sweet bike like mine.
5. I could yell encouragement to people as I breeze by them.
6. And I suppose I could let someone borrow my bike, if really truly needed.

So there you go, Santa! My first ever letter. How did I do?
Say hi to Mrs. Claus and all the munchkins...I mean, elves.
Thank you for considering my request.

Saturday, July 17


Back in 1997-1998, I was told for the first time that I was a person of integrity, which those people appreciated. Even though I was a high school graduate, I didn't really understand what that word I asked. I was told integrity is doing what you say you are going to do. Your life is consistent with your word.
I'll admit, when I was told this, my first thought was "well, of course I have integrity then...why wouldn't people, especially Christians, do what they say?" I know...I was a naive good Christian girl who thought the best of everyone.

Fast forward 13 years and I find myself observing this person that I have become wondering where the integrity has gone. Integrity isn't just doing what you say but also consistently doing what you one's life to a high standard regardless if people are watching or not. It's a choice to live a life that doesn't just get by on minimal effort but to do their very best even if it's a job/task that is disliked. It's to live a life as such that people cannot cast blame, as Paul encourages in the Bible...a life above reproach.

What I'm wondering now is if you can have integrity in some elements but not in others? My initial thoughts is that you either have it or you don' middle ground or grey area. But truth be told, even if that is possible, I don't want partial integrity and I don't want full integrity just for accolades. I want to be a person of integrity, in part, to fill good about who I am. To know that I am doing my know that I care know that regardless of what goes on around me, my reputation is worth know that my life is pleasing to God because God cares about the details.

I don't have all the answers. This idea of integrity has just been rolling around in my head this past week. I think most people would say that I am a person of integrity. However, there is an element of complacency that has taken residence in my heart and mind. Complacency and integrity do not make for good partnerships. So in a renewed conscious attempt to fully be a person of integrity, I need to cast out complacency and make myself do what I should regardless if I care about what I'm doing or not.

I think integrity might be one of those things that is harder to achieve than it is easier to maintain.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.
Colossians 3:23

Thursday, July 15

Don Miller is having a contest of sorts, asking people to share what kind of story they want for their life, whether it is just in the next year or even more long-term. I honestly haven't read his book "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" mostly because I'm too busy reading books for school. It's a book that I plan to get to one day.

I read all the details of the contest and simply thought, I have nothing. Nothing to share. I have no idea what kind of story I want to live because I have little idea of what God has in store for me. After reading a few people's story submissions, I was left feeling frustrated.

Let me start off by saying that God is faithful. Always has been. Always will be.

That being said, I often feel like I'm left in the dark in regards to my life and future. I had no clue what I was going to do my life until my second year at community college. One day, God revealed that He wanted me to go into ministry. I felt like the weight on my shoulders lifted, the heavens had opened, and the choirs were singing! But "ministry" is quite an expansive field. It was in my last year of Bible college when God revealed that missions was going to be in my future. Again, weight gone, heavens, choir. But "missions" is still quite expansive. For all I know, I could be in ministry here in the USA and supporting foreign missionaries...not directly involved overseas myself.

A few years later, God put graduate school on my heart...and that's where I am today. I'm working full time in a job I KNOW I'm not called to long-term, working my way through graduate school. The end is in sight but once more I remain clueless as to what the next step is. In some ways I feel like I'm just drifting along. But when I look back into my past, I clearly see God's hand and He has faithfully shown me the next step, even when I felt it was the eleventh hour.

As for my future, there are many things that sound interesting to me but what I'm realising is that I'm not always confident in myself and my abilities to work in those situations. Right now I mulling over whether or not to pursue my doctorate degree to be a Bible teacher/professor. I'm not sure if God is leading in this direction and I question my ability to teach well.

So in the next year of my life, my only desire is to trust God, patiently. I know that He will guide me once more. In the next year, I will finish my Master's degree and I will either begin to look for a ministry position, either here or overseas, or I will start the process of working towards a doctorate degree. I don't know if this is much of a story but it's where I am at. I just want to be faithful to what God wants of me and to where He wants me to go.

Having shared all this, I guess I might as well enter the contest. I do think this seminar would be great to attend as I relish anything that provides insight into who I am and how God is working in me. Not that this seminar would provide all the answers but it might simply provide encouragement and inspiration to keep on.

In case you're interested in learning more yourself, check out

Living a Better Story Seminar from All Things Converge Podcast on Vimeo.

Wednesday, July 14

Oh to jump into the pages...

Do you ever wish you could meet some of the characters you read? You read their life's story or at least a part of it and come to admire and love them; you come to feel like they are old friends of yours; or maybe you come to really dislike them. Either way, a good fictional story has the ability to draw you in and bring out feelings as you connect or don't connect with its characters. I am a imaginative, sensitive/emotional, and relational type of person, which means that I am someone who can lose myself into a story to the point that I tune out what is really going on around me.

I'm the type of person who cries when people die in stories. Back when I was around 12-14 years old, I was reading through the Anne of Green Gables series. When I got to the last book, one of my favorite characters died unexpectedly. I was so upset and shocked, I threw the book across the room and started crying. That's me.

Anyhow, for the last two or three months, I've been listening to Jan Karon's Mitford series on CD, in my car. Listening to the story is as engaging as reading the books and I am smitten again with her characters. It got me thinking how there are some characters that I would really love to meet...if only they were real.
  • Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy--I think I'd swoon if I ever met them (especially if Mr. Darcy looked anything like Colin Firth) it's probably good that I can't meet them. I love their quick-wittedness, their charm and sense of humor.
  • Father Tim Cavanaugh--This dear man is epitome of wise thoughts, who is both sensible and compassionate. I would love to talk and listen and watch and learn from him.
  • Juliet Ashton (and her Guernsey friends)--The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society book is a wonderful book to read and listen to on CD. As a writer, Juliet is a energetic and enthusiastic character who is interested in finding out the details of almost everything, which takes her to Guernsey where she meets a delightful cast of characters, with intriguing and sometimes heartbreaking stories. The only bad thing about this story is that it ends. I came to love these characters and wanted to know more about their lives only to find myself at the end of the book.
  • Aslan--Meeting Aslan would be terrifying, exciting, incredible, and memorable. His character is magnetic, drawing me to him is a strong way. Yes, the Narnia books has many wonderful characters but none more so than Aslan. Seeing as his character represents God, I delight in the knowledge that one day I'll get be in the presence of the real "Aslan" and even now, get to engage with God regularly.
Not to mention: Jane Eyre, Harry Potter (and gang), Hamlet, Michael Hosea and Sarah (Redeeming Love), Anne Elliot (Persuasion), Jean Valjean (Les Miserables) and many many others!

Who would you want to meet?

Tuesday, July 13

Why I Dislike the Dentist

(I went to the dentist yesterday. I came up with this list while being subjected to their rituals.)

5. The blinding light--That light, which hangs so innocently above the chair, suddenly becomes a interrogation beam. All the better to see my teeth with, I suppose, but when they walk away leaving the beam on, I practically am given a sun tan, whether I want it or not. To compensate for the high beam, they give you the most spectacular pair of sun glasses to wear...the type of sun glasses that wraps around your entire head; big, black, completely from the 80's...lovely.

4. The questions--Let's wait until your mouth is open as far as it can go, with two tools, two fingers, and other such contraptions all poking around in there, before we ask you a question which requires an answer. Really? You want me to mumble an answer or could you kindly remove yourself from my mouth to hear me properly. Maybe they took a "MSL" (mumbling as a second language) class in their dentistry school.

3. The water spray--This little gem is supposed to spray all debris from your teeth so that by the end of the your enchanted-visit/forced-appointment your teeth feel squeaky clean and not gritty. However, what ends up happening is that first my entire face and neck gets a rinse and a consequent wipe down. The miniature super-soaker sprays my teeth but also ends up deflecting off my teeth to douse my face. I'm laying there hopelessly under the hands and tools of the dentist and his assistant, who is mercilessly spraying me down,  with water going out my mouth, down my check and neck. Nice...I didn't know a change of clothes (or a swimsuit) was required when visiting the dentist.

2. The air vacuum--What is worse than the water spray...the air vacuum thing. Yep! During my entire visit the air vacuum all but takes a permanent residence in my mouth. I know the purpose is to remove all natural, re-occurring saliva, along with any aforementioned debris, but really, the lack of any moisture becomes quite painful. Suddenly, about half way through my appointment, I notice that not only my mouth dry but it was going numbingly cold. My teeth felt sensitive and my gums were aching as that little tube of deprivation was robbing me of any relief. Just when tears were about to flood my eyes (My mantra: I will not cry at the dentist), sweet relief came when the vile vacuum was removed, albeit ever so briefly, so that my mouth could flood itself with saliva, easing my pain.

1. The noise--goodness gracious! The noise is a constant ear-piercing, nails on a chalkboard types of sounds. Why don't they make tools that make a low pitched hum instead of a high pitched squeal. You walk in there a bit tense already (if you're like me) and those sounds are enough to make your shoulders swallow your head. You know you've been to the dentist when you walk out and your neck is missing and your face/mouth is numb from the shock of having so much going on inside.

Oy vey!

Monday, July 12

A Plan of Attack

As of yesterday, another class is done. I only have one more class (Intercultural Communication) and my thesis paper remaining!

In August, I start my thesis paper class but during these six weeks prior to the class, I want to make great segue into the paper. Feeling a little bit ambitious, my goal during these six weeks is to write my introduction and first two chapters. This means that I need to finish my research or at least get well enough into it that I can start formulating thoughts.

So, since time is of the essence, I'm going to do my best to be uber-productive and have written out a schedule of my time for the whole week. Each week I'm going to create a schedule for the upcoming week, to keep me focused and minimize procrastination.

Each week, my goal will be to read two books...which includes adding important quotes or thoughts into my computer. Each day, my goal is to read a minimum of 2-3 hours. This of course, does not apply to the weekend where I should be able to read 4-6 hours! Hopefully by the end of July I can start formulating my thoughts into some kind of structure.

Doesn't this sound well thought out?

What this nice blurb does not account for is the fact that I am overseeing a book-club which needs my devoted attention now that my class is done, a book club finale/celebration that is three weeks away and still needs to be planned, days where I won't feel like reading or doing anything homework related, spur-of-the-moment times to hang out with friends or family, or any other unforeseen event.

So come August 23rd when my thesis paper class starts, ask me then how much I've accomplished and we shall see if this post was just a product of wishful thinking or willful determination. Wish me luck!

Friday, July 9

The Photo Session Gone Wrong

Two years ago, my church has this "lovely" idea to do a photo directory of the attendees. For several weeks, our bulletin encouraged all regular attenders to sign up for a photo slot. To bribe such cooperation, they offered a free 8x10" photo.

Now, even though my parents still attend there, I am very much my own person and live in my own place, etc, etc, etc. So I had no plans to have a picture taken with my parents and having a photo session of just me did not produce large amounts of excitement. So I more or less just shrugged off the whole thing...until the phone call came.

About a week or two before the cut-off date, a lady in my church called to personally encourage me to sign up and will I commit to a time? I have no problem saying no if I have a good reason. However, for this instance, I couldn't think of a good reason to not have my picture taken so I agreed and signed up for a time. (The next time I saw my mom, I asked her if they received a phone call...they did not! So why me, I wonder???)

I showed up for this photo session, trying to ignore the fact that I was very much single and telling myself that this is no big deal. I had to fill out a form: name, age, name of my future first child, etc...which I handed over as soon as I was done. From there, things went down hill. The photographer, who clearly read that I was 29 years old and not 13, placed a table in front of me and asked me to fold my arms on the table and lay my head on my arms. Can you picture it? Immediately, I started blushing just thinking about how embarrassing even posing this way was...all I knew THIS WAS NOT GOING IN THE CHURCH DIRECTORY!!! Thankfully she took a few more head-on shots, which calmed my panicked heart.

Then I was directed to another room in our church basement where I could review the photos. The next lady pulled up my 3 or 4 pictures and zoomed in so that we could make an "informed" decision. When she pulled up the "I'm-13" photo, I instinctively cringed (inwardly, of course, lest I offend) and was appalled when she "ooh-ed" and "aah-ed" over it. I adamantly said "no" which shocked her. I sensibly chose one the head-on photos for the church directory and settled that whole matter.

"But what of your free 8x10"?"

No, thank you! Call me crazy but I have no desire to have an 8x10" self portrait! How vain and silly that would look!

"But you could give it to your mom! That would make a nice gift!"

Really, I know my mom and she wouldn't want an 8x10" photo of me...she'd never hang it up or prop it anywhere and I'm not sure I'd want her to have it anyways. But then, another member of our congregation entered the little room...someone who knows me. She saw the "I'm-13" photo and "ooh-ed" and "aah-ed" just like the photo lady. And so, between the two of them, I let them talk me into getting an 8x10" photo of the "I'm 13" photos. I walked out of there, just wanting to get away, and wondering what I had just done.

Two weeks later, the horrid picture arrived. Between those two points of time, I had already changed my mind and knew I would not be handing this photo over. But I had already told my family of this nightmare, which gave us all a good laugh, so I figured I'd show them so that we could further our amusement. I handed the envelope to my mom and said "here's your silly picture." Little did I know that before I left that afternoon with the photo, my dad had scanned the photo since he knew my intent was to tear and throw it away. My wonderful dad, then proceeded to email the photo to my aunts, making me cringe and them "ooh-ing" and "aah-ing."

I somewhat wish I had a copy to show you and am somewhat glad that I don't. I'm sure my dad still has a copy somewhere on his computer but as far as I'm concerned, the evidence is gone.

Tuesday, July 6

What its all about?

My class on missions has been pretty good. The class ends this Sunday, which makes me happy!

The final book that I have to read and write a 2 page (single space) report on, is "Truth to Tell: The Gospel as Public Truth," by Lesslie Newbigin. Lesslie Newbigin was a influential missiologist (so my books all say) for our time. This book is only 90 pages and so I actually read it all yesterday just to be done with it.

Ever have one of those books where you read and read but have no clue what you are reading about? This is that type of book! There were a few quotes that stood out to me, which I noted but how am I to write a 2 page report on this book when I'm not even sure I can summarize the book? I think it's about Christians sharing the gospel as truth to the world...but the title alone almost says that, right? Oh geez...

Gotta love it!

On a different note, last Friday I registered for my last two classes for this Master's degree...wahoo! And, I played in my kitchen this weekend...both of which make me happy.

Thursday, July 1

My Weary Soul

Work, school, church...that's my life. I try not to's the life I've chosen for the time being. Plus, school will be done in December (Lord's all dependent on my thesis paper!)

I read a blog today asking the readers if they were a fan or storyteller in their own life. Upon thinking about that, I concluded that I am a fan right now...I'm too tired to create stories, tell stories, and engage with my own story. Whatever free time I have, I usually read a book or watch TV or movies in order to give my brain the chance to shut down and not be thinking. I feel like I'm putting one foot in front of another just to get done what needs to be done. But upon reflecting on this, I also realised that I don't like simply be just an observer.

In the past, I've told people that cooking/baking is one way in which I can be creative...a kind of therapy and creative outlet. I haven't played in the kitchen for almost this whole class. **Note to self: must create something this weekend!!!

Also relationships/community is always an element to keep me energized and encouraged. Thankfully I've had a couple opportunities throughout this class to have a night out with friends, which have been great blessings. But I think I need to also try to be more intentional in my relationships with others knowing how much it affects me. It's easy to allow busyness to isolate myself...then I end up feeling alone, emotional, and overwhelmed.

This is an ongoing thing for me, at least at this phase of my life. I need to center myself around God, engaging the creativity He has put in me, and allow relationships to a consistent part of my going-ons.