Friday, July 30

Socially Weary

I'm one of those people who recharges by having down time and quiet time. If I'm going going going for several days and always surrounded by people, I walk away drained.

I know, I know...some people don't understand people like sister being one of them. (She is a people person in and out. If she's alone, she goes crazy. We're like night/day, yin/yang, potatoes/gravy...maybe that's why we get along so well.) But I digress...

Inevitably, there will always be some people in our lives who require more energy and typically make us weary faster...we all have those people, right? Or is it just me? I quickly think of one coworker from Germany and a dear friend of mine from church and presently, my current coworker. It's not that these people try to be demanding; it is just that something about their personality raises stress levels in me to the point that I find myself sitting one day, wanting to cry and spend hours in silence by myself, because I'm so tired.

My dear friend, who is now deceased, was a sweetheart and a true cheerleader for all that I was and ever did. She was wonderful but she, like my sister, craved the presence of people, and in the final year of her life, she was in and out of hospitals fighting pneumonia, MRSA, and much much pain. Her balm was people and she especially wanted her close friends to be with her. I spent numerous hours with her and even though I loved her dearly, I got to the point where I wanted to hide and cry and be alone. The need/expectancy was too much. I'm glad I hung in there and miss her often but it was so hard.

Today is a day where I just feel socially weary. My coworker has been charged up this past week, often grumbling/mumbling and venting to me and such...and I am tired. I want to go and hide and be by myself. But then I wonder, do I really want to be by myself or would I just feel tired and very much alone?

Just as there are people who drain energy, there are others who breathe energy and life. People who encourage, laugh, and can just be. Yes, I think some alone down time would be great but it would also be great after an hour or two if just the right friend came along to pull me up and out; to re-excite me for life, for what God is doing, and for the little things that bring delight! That sounds much better than hiding away, doesn't it?

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