Yesterday was rough.
As in, crying off and on throughout the day.
Pretty much every time I talked to someone, the ever-near tears came streaming down my face.
I live at Oasis...a restoration facility for boys with behavioral or drug related issues. This means, the requirement to coming to Oasis is that you have a problem. You have some kind of brokenness in your past whether at the hands of others or by your own choices or, as in most cases, both.
Yesterday, probably due to some exhaustion and some stress, I lost it. I was talking to my friends/coworkers, who live out there full time, about a particular situation which led them to sharing about the boys with whom we live. Sharing some of the scars and baggage and brokenness that they bring to Oasis, along with their own anger-issues or drug-addictions. Most of these boys have experienced abuse whether sexually or physically by the very adults who should have protected and nurtured them.
The greatest issue I have at Oasis is learning how to show love with boundaries. I have learned (am learning) that when I naturally and purely want to give hugs or kisses to the boys, that very often, they, in their brokenness, do not know how to receive that love without sexualizing it. An hug or kiss from me can lead to them believing lies or fantasies about "us."
I was overwhelmed by this yesterday. This boys are so broken that they cannot receive or understand natural motherly, unconditional love. And yes, some of it is from consequences of their own actions, but a lot of it has to do with homes in which they lived and the broken parents that raised them. For them, I grieved. And grieved. I could not stop the tears. How can I, who has no understanding of this kind of life, who had a safe Christ-fearing godly-parents home, be a blessing to these boys who can't comprehend what a pure hug means due to their brokenness? What can I possibly say to them? How does God desire to use me in this ministry when I feel so inadequate?
I was reminded that God may want to use me in their lives to teach them what a healthy family looks like, what a healthy person looks like...without the baggage, without the brokenness...to give them hope and a vision for personal change and how their own family could look one day in the future. Broken people do not need to beget broken people. The cycles of pain that was "normal" in their home, at the hands of their parents or guardians, doesn't need to be the cycle in their home, with their kids. They can be the one who can change and they can be the one who loves well, with the healing power of Jesus! And I can be an image of this. A word of encouragement. A hope aspired. I can show them real love...not manipulative abusive love...but unconditional Christ-powered love. Yes, with boundaries, but I can still show love. He who is mighty is able to heal and restore the broken-hearted and for this season of our lives, I get to be a part of their healing.
After a sound sleep, this morning, at breakfast, I announced to the boys that I had good news for them. When I had their attention, I said, "The mercies of God are new every morning and His love never has an end." I needed to hear that. They needed to hear that. I'll start with this promise and trust God to continue teaching and using me in the days that follow in the lives of these beloved boys.
Showing posts with label Oasis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Oasis. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 1
Thursday, May 15
Another birthday, new year!
I found myself not looking forward to this birthday because it's a mile-marker that I'm not quite ready to be at, as a single woman. Even thinking about it still makes me want to breathe a deep sigh.
But ready or not, the birthday came and went and as for celebration, I had a great day...it was relaxing and fun, with good conversation, good food, and a good friend!
However, despite my lack of enthusiasm at yet another year added to my age, I found myself thinking about what I wish for my life in the year ahead and came up with the following list:
But ready or not, the birthday came and went and as for celebration, I had a great day...it was relaxing and fun, with good conversation, good food, and a good friend!
However, despite my lack of enthusiasm at yet another year added to my age, I found myself thinking about what I wish for my life in the year ahead and came up with the following list:
- I wish to become more like Ruth (Bible figure), which means loving and serving others more, walking with humility and having faith that God is in control and will work everything out, even when all odds may suggest otherwise.
- I wish to be a positive influence in the lives of the Oasis boys, which could include helping lead a boy into a relationship with Christ or speaking Truth into their lives, but ultimately providing hope and love that allows for the healing they need.
- I wish to learn more Spanish and to be able to speak more confidently and clearly.
- I would love to go on a date and be excited about the possibility of dating a man of God. (I've downgraded this wish over the years from "marriage and childen" to "a date." :) But please don't tell the Mexican pastors about this or they will excitedly ramp up all efforts, which would scare me!)
- I desire to practice more self-discipline and self-control. I once read a quote, that has stayed with me, that said "I am not a man controlled by my urges." I was immediately convicted by that thinking over how many times I allow my urges (sweets, things, etc) to control what I do. The areas I specifically want to focus on is time with the Lord (both daily and Sabbath) and monitoring food choices (less sugar, carbs, fat).
Sunday, August 11
bittersweet.
He leaves today. After months of training and instruction. Changed. Strong. Healthy. A leader. Proven and trusted. Ready and excited. Ready to once again be a son, brother and friend. Ready to resume his education. Wanting to thrive. I thank God for this young man and feel overwhelmed with pride and joy.
I send him out. With hugs, prayers, a note, and with reminders of my love. I urge him to come back for a visit. Knowing that my arms will want to hug him. My eyes will want to see his face. My heart will want to hear him. But while his leaving is good, and after all, the goal of the program, I find my heart breaking.
I send him out. With hugs, prayers, a note, and with reminders of my love. I urge him to come back for a visit. Knowing that my arms will want to hug him. My eyes will want to see his face. My heart will want to hear him. But while his leaving is good, and after all, the goal of the program, I find my heart breaking.
Thursday, August 1
Treasures
There's a Bible verse I have thought of a couple times while being here in Mexico:
This verse occurs after Jesus' birth and a crowd of shepherds came, almost as if drawn in by magnets, to see and worship this new baby. They also shared about the choir of angels that told them of Jesus' birth.
I have thought of this particular verse because there have been a few key moments where I have fully understood this verse. Like today. And yet, there is a part of me that fears I will forget the treasures. I have such a poor memory. Details get fuzzy and then my stories become long as I try to figure them out while talking. It can be quite humorous.
But today, this sweet boy asked me if he can call me Mama.
Even hours later, I want to weep. Weep because I'm so touched that he asked and that he wants to call me Mama and that he is offering his love to me. Weep because my heart has longed to be a Mama forever, and now there is a child who wants to call me (ME!!) that.
But I also want to weep because I know that he has recently been rejected by his own mama, and I DO NOT understand how a mama can do that. How can a mama tell her son that she doesn't want to see him ever again...that he can live at the Oasis Boy's Home until he's 18 (4 more years) and then be left to fend for himself? What happened to cause this sadness? I have no answers...all I can do is pray for healing within this family.
But in the meanwhile, I want to treasure the gift that I was blessed with today. I wanted to write down this gift so that the details don't become blurry or forgotten altogether.
"But Mary treasured all these things and pondered them in her heart" Luke 2:19
This verse occurs after Jesus' birth and a crowd of shepherds came, almost as if drawn in by magnets, to see and worship this new baby. They also shared about the choir of angels that told them of Jesus' birth.
I have thought of this particular verse because there have been a few key moments where I have fully understood this verse. Like today. And yet, there is a part of me that fears I will forget the treasures. I have such a poor memory. Details get fuzzy and then my stories become long as I try to figure them out while talking. It can be quite humorous.
But today, this sweet boy asked me if he can call me Mama.
Even hours later, I want to weep. Weep because I'm so touched that he asked and that he wants to call me Mama and that he is offering his love to me. Weep because my heart has longed to be a Mama forever, and now there is a child who wants to call me (ME!!) that.
But I also want to weep because I know that he has recently been rejected by his own mama, and I DO NOT understand how a mama can do that. How can a mama tell her son that she doesn't want to see him ever again...that he can live at the Oasis Boy's Home until he's 18 (4 more years) and then be left to fend for himself? What happened to cause this sadness? I have no answers...all I can do is pray for healing within this family.
But in the meanwhile, I want to treasure the gift that I was blessed with today. I wanted to write down this gift so that the details don't become blurry or forgotten altogether.
Monday, July 1
him and me
“I just don’t understand,” started the conversation between myself and my friends. “I just don’t understand how he can consider you to be like his dad and mom and yet he rebels and resists and chooses to not submit.”
As soon as the words slipped out, I was reminded that this is how my relationship with God can be.
Just as my story is yet from being over, there is more for this boy. Just as my life has been marked by Love, so has his…only he has yet to understand that! And for that, with renewed humility, I pray.
As soon as the words slipped out, I was reminded that this is how my relationship with God can be.
- God: my Father, whom I love, who is very important to me and has changed my life.
- Me: the child, who still wants to do my own thing, who still wants to reject and resist and not submit to the will of the Father.
Just as my story is yet from being over, there is more for this boy. Just as my life has been marked by Love, so has his…only he has yet to understand that! And for that, with renewed humility, I pray.
Thursday, June 6
Cordially invited to grieve
I know that I go on and on about the Oasis Boy's home and how much I love it and how much the ministry, the leaders, and the boys (oh-the-boys!) have become engraved in my heart. It is my happy place...I love just being there. And I love how whenever I go there, the boys will ask if I am going to sleep there (since I've spent the night a few times). I love when unknown new boys become another Oasis boy I adore. I love realizing that some of the boys have undergone this seemingly overnight transformation, getting taller, leaner, and older looking. I love hearing some of these boys, who each have different "scars and battle wounds", laugh fully and carefree. But there is one thing I dislike about the Oasis Boy's Home.
Oasis is a ministry which desires to transform troubled youth, through training and teaching, so that they can be rehabilitated back to their families and contribute positively to society. And the greater goal is that their lives may be transformed through the power and work of Jesus Christ.
So the goal of Oasis is to change lives so that they can go home. Away. From Oasis. Never to return (hopefully).
Which kind of stinks.
Actually, it stinks a whole heap.
I want them to stay at Oasis forever and ever.
My heart breaks whenever a boy runs away. And my heart grieves whenever a boy has completed the program and is allowed to leave. Will I see these boys again? Likely not, unless they get in trouble again and are sent back to Oasis.
I know that the grief is merely a sign that I have loved, but still...can I not just adopt them all as mine and keep them in my life forever? *sigh*
Oasis is a ministry which desires to transform troubled youth, through training and teaching, so that they can be rehabilitated back to their families and contribute positively to society. And the greater goal is that their lives may be transformed through the power and work of Jesus Christ.
So the goal of Oasis is to change lives so that they can go home. Away. From Oasis. Never to return (hopefully).
Which kind of stinks.
Actually, it stinks a whole heap.
I want them to stay at Oasis forever and ever.
My heart breaks whenever a boy runs away. And my heart grieves whenever a boy has completed the program and is allowed to leave. Will I see these boys again? Likely not, unless they get in trouble again and are sent back to Oasis.
I know that the grief is merely a sign that I have loved, but still...can I not just adopt them all as mine and keep them in my life forever? *sigh*
Monday, March 4
A haven of love
Sitting at my friend's table, cup of coffee is near, I am grateful for the love I have been shown. I have been accepted into this home and family, even though half the time I don't understand their language and they don't understand mine. They patiently wait, and offer suggestions, as I strain and stumble through mental conjugations and recollection of spanish lessons. The love that I am shown is the same gracious love that is shown to all the boys, who come to the rehabilitation center, for a myriad of reasons.
Life here quietly hums with activity starting around 5am, when the oldest boy gets up and ready for high school. The hum grows louder within the next two hours as all the boys get up and ready to start a new day. For some, it includes school and for others it includes chores around the house.
But before they all hit the ground running, they sit down for a time of devotions; hearing from the Word of God. They are encouraged to know God and His love and power. They are encouraged to surrender their struggles, addictions, anger, and pain to a God who heals, forgives, and loves unconditionally. They are encouraged to let God work His redeeming plan in their lives, changing them into men who faithfully love God and serve others.
It is in this haven, where love is shown, where my heart has begun to simultaneously root down and soar with passion and excitement. God is doing a good work in me, in the boys, and in my friends.
Life here quietly hums with activity starting around 5am, when the oldest boy gets up and ready for high school. The hum grows louder within the next two hours as all the boys get up and ready to start a new day. For some, it includes school and for others it includes chores around the house.
But before they all hit the ground running, they sit down for a time of devotions; hearing from the Word of God. They are encouraged to know God and His love and power. They are encouraged to surrender their struggles, addictions, anger, and pain to a God who heals, forgives, and loves unconditionally. They are encouraged to let God work His redeeming plan in their lives, changing them into men who faithfully love God and serve others.
It is in this haven, where love is shown, where my heart has begun to simultaneously root down and soar with passion and excitement. God is doing a good work in me, in the boys, and in my friends.
Saturday, December 22
December
Hello! Yes, I'm still here in Mexico. Haven't been kidnapped by the cartel, imprisoned by the federales, or buried under a pile of work. In truth, I have just largely forgotten my blog or when I have remembered my blog, I just shrug and say (because I talk to myself often) "I have nothing new to write."
But in looking back over the last month, I realise that I do have things to share. Side tangent: I love how my three years in Canada still to this impacts me. About 90% of the time, I write realise with an "s" instead of a "z", unless I am realizing something. I think it's great that I am now part-Canadian, part-German, and now am learning how to be part-Mexican...oh, I shouldn't forget my mostly American side of me. Side tangent over.
So, since I last wrote on December 7th, I had my end-of-the-term spanish exam, we had a team come to visit, I had a 48 hour excursion out to the boy's home, and have been knee-deep in cleaning and Christmas baking. Overall, things have been busy. And since I'm sure you're interested in more details on each, here you go!
Merry Christmas to you all. I pray that in the year ahead Emmanuel (God with us) will be very near and real in your lives. God bless you and with love.
--Mindy
But in looking back over the last month, I realise that I do have things to share. Side tangent: I love how my three years in Canada still to this impacts me. About 90% of the time, I write realise with an "s" instead of a "z", unless I am realizing something. I think it's great that I am now part-Canadian, part-German, and now am learning how to be part-Mexican...oh, I shouldn't forget my mostly American side of me. Side tangent over.
So, since I last wrote on December 7th, I had my end-of-the-term spanish exam, we had a team come to visit, I had a 48 hour excursion out to the boy's home, and have been knee-deep in cleaning and Christmas baking. Overall, things have been busy. And since I'm sure you're interested in more details on each, here you go!
- Spanish exam: Both funny and frustrating. So since my last exam at the beginning of November, I have learned oh-so-much...she threw a bucket load at me. In one class she gave me 250 words to memorize...and she did that a few times. So I studied and studied and studied...literally hours...only for her to give me something completely unrelated to all the "new" material, as my final exam. I had to read 5 short stories and answer 10 questions on each. Her reasoning: she knew that I knew all that class stuff and she wanted to see how my reading comprehension was. So in some ways, I'm sure I got off easier than if she had quizzed me on the classroom stuff (I didn't go feeling completely ready) but it was still frustrating. Anyhow, the good news, I am now moving up to the "advanced" stage of my learning when I return in January. Hoorah! (Just don't ask me to say anything...I still panic and tell people I don't speak spanish.)
- The visiting team: They are from Southern California and came just for a day to give out shoeboxes to 200 kids and to help serve a Christmas dinner to the three churches that we support. We planned to serve about 200 people at this dinner. I don't have any clue how many actually came but we ran out of food. We had two dinner times: 5pm and 7pm. For the second group, none of the kids got vegetables because they were all being saved for the adults. And we had to postpone dinner for a good 30 minutes while my coworkers ran out and bought rotisserie chicken to compensate for the 100 lbs of turkey that had been gobbled up. There were people everywhere. But God provided. The kids were delighted with their shoeboxes of gifts. The food was obviously good and eaten. And we all went home exhausted. (I just realized that this happened only one week ago...wow...feels like it happened longer ago than that.)
- 48 hour excursion: I have probably mentioned this before but the more I go out to the Boy's Home, the more I want to go out again and again. At one point this month, I was invited by the directors (who live there) to come out and stay in their home for however long I want to: one night, two nights, a week, etc. Well, in light of my teaching-English classes and my spanish class all wrapping up between Dec 10-14, I had this past week completely open. So why not! I went out there Monday and came back home on Wednesday. I had a great time! I got some cuddles in with a baby chihuahua, I got to go on a walk to collect firewood, I did a couple school pick-ups/drop-offs and even got to watch an end-of-the-school-term presentation, I made them one dinner and one breakfast and one batch of tortillas, I got to celebrate over the return of one boy who had ran away, I was taught how to play marbles (may need more lessons/practice), and I achieved the three things I desired:
- To have a good time...easily achieved.
- To learn how they flush a toilet (they have no running water...have I mentioned this before?). This turned out to be very easy!
- To learn how the two females take a shower. While I did not take a shower there (yes, I went home very grimy feeling) I learned that it too is fairly easy and I think I could handle it, if per say, a house was built for me out there.
- Mad cleaning and baking: Well, as I mentioned, we had a team come plus over 200 people to our center last Saturday. My coworkers were previously engaged the week before in meetings in Mexico City, only returning Friday night and then leaving again on Sunday. That meant I needed to clean the center, prepare some beds, get the kitchen ready, etc, before Satuday. This also meant that I needed to clean the center after everyone left on Sunday, which I'll admit I only did a portion of. I am heading out there today to do a bit more cleaning. Plus, I've been cleaning my house and have a bit more to do today because MY PARENTS ARE COMING!! My parents are coming tomorrow (EEK!!!) and will be here for approximately 4 days. As for the baking, I decided to make Cranberry Orange Scones for the pastors that we work with, as a small but tasty Christmas gift...finished those last night and will distribute them in the next hour or two. I also plan to make fudge tonight...my final Christmas treat!
Merry Christmas to you all. I pray that in the year ahead Emmanuel (God with us) will be very near and real in your lives. God bless you and with love.
--Mindy
Friday, December 7
An English Exam
On Thursday, we finished up our English class with the boy's home, for the Christmas season. To wrap up a term requires the administration of a well-written test, which I thoroughly enjoyed putting together. It was creative, it was varied, I was proud of the end result. 40 questions covering material from September to December.
One of the topics we studied this term were things of the house. They did quite well when we studied the house so I had hopes that listing any 10 things or rooms would be a relatively easy feat. But as it turned out, only a couple students remembered 10 and the rest only gave me about 3 items/rooms, before calling it quits. I used the below picture for my test:
One young man, upon completion, handed me his test and I looked it over to see briefly how he had done. He was one who only came up with 3 labels of the house. I burst out laughing when I saw that one of the things he labeled was the dog sitting at the end of the bed. He started laughing when I told him what I had just spotted and that a "dog," while it could be arguably good answer, was not something we had studied and therefore could not be counted, despite the fact that the entertainment was well appreciated.
Oh my goodness, I love this English class and I love this kid.
I have such enjoyable moments out there.
One of the topics we studied this term were things of the house. They did quite well when we studied the house so I had hopes that listing any 10 things or rooms would be a relatively easy feat. But as it turned out, only a couple students remembered 10 and the rest only gave me about 3 items/rooms, before calling it quits. I used the below picture for my test:
One young man, upon completion, handed me his test and I looked it over to see briefly how he had done. He was one who only came up with 3 labels of the house. I burst out laughing when I saw that one of the things he labeled was the dog sitting at the end of the bed. He started laughing when I told him what I had just spotted and that a "dog," while it could be arguably good answer, was not something we had studied and therefore could not be counted, despite the fact that the entertainment was well appreciated.
Oh my goodness, I love this English class and I love this kid.
I have such enjoyable moments out there.
Tuesday, November 27
Oasis: the introduction
There is a ministry here that has become a favorite of almost everyone who has had the opportunity to visit, including myself. It is a balm to many, a place of restoration and healing, and a haven for second chances. It is fitting that it should have the name Oasis. And after mentioning it, practically weekly, on Facebook, it is high time I officially introduce you to Oasis.
This ministry is a home for boys, who were either sent there or chose to go there, due to behavioral issues or addictions. They spend time there going through a 6-month program (unless they are in school, which allows them to stay for 12 months), while getting the privilege of living in a community, which includes living with others and sharing in chores. The goal is not only to see boys make wiser life choices but also for them to allow Christ to transform them from the inside out: to give them a peace where there had been uncertainty or unrest; to give them a future and hope where there had been hopelessness and futile pursuits; to fill them with Christ's love and joy so that they can carry that with them when they go "home" and then share that love with others.
Oasis has been ministering to boys for the last 5 years and had over 200 boys go through their facility. I heard once that they have around a 90% success rate of boys changing their life and making different/better life choices upon their departure. They can house up to 16 boys at a time but typically hover around 12. It is my guess that about half of these boys do not have safe homes to go to upon leaving, which is certain to have contributed to their arrival to Oasis.
The director and his wife, Saul and Judith, have become good friends of mine. They are a wonderful couple who live simply and by faith when it comes to provisions. They are firm with the boys, while also providing a nurturing father- and mother-like role in each of the boy's lives, which is very much needed and wanted. I love hearing Judith call the boys "mi hijo (my son)" and watching Saul drape his arm around the boys. Saul admitted early on in the summer that every time he says goodbye to one of the boys, it's heartbreaking because he feels like their father and loves them as much. Having to come to know the boys a bit more, I completely understand how he feels...one boy is leaving in 2-3 weeks and I am very saddened by the thought of not seeing him anymore, possibly.
This ministry is supported by donations; individuals and churches who have heard (or seen) of this ministry and want to help with the costs of running it...however this tends to be inconsistent. The most consistent support comes by the founding pastor and his wife, Juan and Rosi. Pastor Juan works for a teen rehabilitation center and often gives a large part of his salary to pay for the costs of running Oasis. Pastor Juan and Rosi are by no means rich...their family of 7 lives very simply and at times does not have sufficient funds to pay for gas, phones, or food, for themselves or for Oasis. This is how Saul and Judith have also learned how to live and eat simply, and to live by faith for God's provision.
This is just a basic introduction. I'll elaborate on different elements in the near future. I would so much love to see this ministry gain consistent support. They have so many wonderful dreams for expanding and enriching this ministry which are largely "on-hold" until the funds are there. You only need to spend a short time there to know that God is at work and I love that I have the opportunity to be a part of it for this current season of my life. You are all welcomed to come down here and visit this little ministry...I would love to show it off and introduce you to the boys and staff!!
This ministry is a home for boys, who were either sent there or chose to go there, due to behavioral issues or addictions. They spend time there going through a 6-month program (unless they are in school, which allows them to stay for 12 months), while getting the privilege of living in a community, which includes living with others and sharing in chores. The goal is not only to see boys make wiser life choices but also for them to allow Christ to transform them from the inside out: to give them a peace where there had been uncertainty or unrest; to give them a future and hope where there had been hopelessness and futile pursuits; to fill them with Christ's love and joy so that they can carry that with them when they go "home" and then share that love with others.
Oasis has been ministering to boys for the last 5 years and had over 200 boys go through their facility. I heard once that they have around a 90% success rate of boys changing their life and making different/better life choices upon their departure. They can house up to 16 boys at a time but typically hover around 12. It is my guess that about half of these boys do not have safe homes to go to upon leaving, which is certain to have contributed to their arrival to Oasis.
The director and his wife, Saul and Judith, have become good friends of mine. They are a wonderful couple who live simply and by faith when it comes to provisions. They are firm with the boys, while also providing a nurturing father- and mother-like role in each of the boy's lives, which is very much needed and wanted. I love hearing Judith call the boys "mi hijo (my son)" and watching Saul drape his arm around the boys. Saul admitted early on in the summer that every time he says goodbye to one of the boys, it's heartbreaking because he feels like their father and loves them as much. Having to come to know the boys a bit more, I completely understand how he feels...one boy is leaving in 2-3 weeks and I am very saddened by the thought of not seeing him anymore, possibly.
This ministry is supported by donations; individuals and churches who have heard (or seen) of this ministry and want to help with the costs of running it...however this tends to be inconsistent. The most consistent support comes by the founding pastor and his wife, Juan and Rosi. Pastor Juan works for a teen rehabilitation center and often gives a large part of his salary to pay for the costs of running Oasis. Pastor Juan and Rosi are by no means rich...their family of 7 lives very simply and at times does not have sufficient funds to pay for gas, phones, or food, for themselves or for Oasis. This is how Saul and Judith have also learned how to live and eat simply, and to live by faith for God's provision.
This is just a basic introduction. I'll elaborate on different elements in the near future. I would so much love to see this ministry gain consistent support. They have so many wonderful dreams for expanding and enriching this ministry which are largely "on-hold" until the funds are there. You only need to spend a short time there to know that God is at work and I love that I have the opportunity to be a part of it for this current season of my life. You are all welcomed to come down here and visit this little ministry...I would love to show it off and introduce you to the boys and staff!!
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