Thursday, January 13

A prayer and reflection

O Holy Spirit of God,
Come into my heart and fill me:
I open the windows of my soul to let Thee in.
I surrender my whole life to Thee:
Come and possess me, fill me with light and truth.

I don't handle stress well, I'm finding out.
Sure, a little here and there is fine and can even get me motivated and charged up. But too much or for too long and I start to feel buried and overwhelmed. Then I want to crawl into bed, stick my face in the sand, or run out the door. I get irritable and snappy and then get a nice headache.

I offer to Thee the one thing I really possess,
My capacity for being filled by Thee.
Of myself I am an empty vessel.
Fill me so that I may live the life of the Spirit,
The life of Truth and Goodness,
The life of Beauty and Love,
The life of Wisdom and Strength.

It's awful...the choking feeling of stress.
I've wanted to cry for a few days now. One perk is that I've actually enjoyed going to the gym this week...that's a unusual plus. However, it the middle of one moment where I'm telling myself not to break down crying or screaming, I turn my head to see this prayer sitting next to my desk.

And guide me today in all things:
Guide me to the people I should meet or help:
To the circumstances in which I can best serve Thee;
Whether by my actions or my sufferings.

The prayer nearly takes my breath away.
It's exactly what I need to hear, exactly what I want to say, and exactly how I need to pray. Surrender...empty vessel...fill me. I stumble a bit over the part of people and circumstances because could that mean everything and everyone I interact with at work? Of course it does...*gulp*

But above all, make Christ to be formed in me,
And make Him king:
That I may dethrone self in my heart
So that He is in me, and I in Him,
Today and forever. Amen

More of Him, less of me.
That's the key, isn't it? Me, me, me and I am weak, overwhelmed, and easily frustrated. Him, Him, Him and suddenly there's a purpose, sustenance, and strength for the day. Not to say that the stress goes away, but He definitely changes the dynamics in how I react to it. Suddenly it becomes "I can't do this" to "it is well with my soul."

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