for my friend Suzie

**it saddens me that i forgot. i mean, i remembered beforehand and wrote your lovely name on my calendar. but your birthday came and went without my remembrance only now just recalling two days later. you were my cheerleader in every way. you were my support and listening ear. you were my true friend to the very end. i love thinking that you are happy, healthy, whole and with Jesus...but i miss you. i miss your smile, laughter, spirit of generosity and unending desire to serve. i want you to know that i would go through your last days all over again, if i could. though i cried from sadness and exhaustion, i'm grateful God gave me that time to bless you.**

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i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

e.e. cummings