My job has been wonderful financially. It has allowed me to have my own apartment, get my Master's degree, and have some dollars left over for casual spending.
However let me back up just a bit. Back in high school, when babysitting was my own means for financial gain, I was very much a saver. I hated shopping unless it was for other people. Spending money just wasn't something I enjoyed. But then during college, I got a job at Old Navy, which I thought was hilarious...I didn't enjoy shopping, wasn't trendy with clothes...but here goes! Through this job, I found an enjoyment in shopping and my ability to save went down.
Since then, there honestly hasn't been much financial restriction in my life in the last decade or so...if I see something that I want, I usually buy it. Granted I tend to avoid extravagant things but even the small things add up, right?
Anyhow, I've been mulling over my finances. You see, God has given me a passion for missions and for giving. I love giving my money away to people in need, good causes, and especially to missions. There have been a couple times in the last decade where my ability to give was limited, to a degree, because of lack of money in my account, due to frivolous spending. Honestly, I hated those times and hate the thought of not being able to give abundantly or freely because I have spent too much on myself. On stuff I truly don't need.
I have been trying to monitor my spending more in last year or two, in order to free up more finances for giving but its hard. The consumer mentality has become embedded in my mind and I essentially need to be rewired and retrained. I don't have all the answers and am not even sure the best way to change and improve my financial spending and stewardship. I guess being aware, making a plan and finding accountability would be a good place to start. Overall, it's about learning to say no to myself so that I can say yes to God.
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