I know I've said this a few times but I sure hope there is a movie theatre in Heaven where we can sit down and watch Bible Stories as they happened. 'Twould be amazing!
One such story that I would LOVE to see unfold is found in II Kings 6. Let me share it with you!
__________
The king of Aram decides to wage war on the king of Israel.
King A strategically plans how he will attack King I and send his troops in. But by the time the troops get to this place, the Israelites are gone. So they turn around to march back to their campsite to inform King A.
Not to be discouraged, King A goes back to the strategy table with his advisor and plans their next move. They get input from their spies on where the Israelites moved to and their excitement builds. The call to attack occurs and the troops march off.
However, once they get to the second place, the Israelites are once again gone...talk about deja vu! So they walk back to their campsite rightfully afraid of King A's reaction. Infuriated, King A demands his spies to explain what happen. They humbly hold fast to their initial reports of the Israelites location just days ago. So King A sends them out again.
Once they return, assured of the Israelites whereabouts, King A implements his third plan of attack. The soldiers and their chariots move out, making the third trek and are dismayed to find the Israelites have eluded them once again.
Enraged, King A demands his officers to tell him what is going on. How are the Israelites finding out when and from where his people are going to attack? Was one of his trusted men a traitor, an Israelite spy?? One of his officers steps forward, fearfully hoping that by doing so he doesn't get killed, and informs the king that a man of God is telling King I when King A will attack and from which direction. This man of God is how they keep missing the Israelites.
So logic says...hunt down and take out the man of God first and then we can destroy the Israelites! And that is what King A's soldiers set off to do. The find where the man of God is located and circle the city around his house, at nighttime, preparing to attack.
__________
The sun rises and peaks over the horizon. Pretty soon the city will be awake and alive with activity. But Elisha is already up! He awoke an hour ago to prayerfully start his day in presence of Yahweh. He could hear his servant moving about in the main room of the house, undoubtedly getting breakfast started. But the muted sounds would not distract his daily routine of prayer, beseeching the ever faithful Yahweh for His counsel and wisdom. Elisha knew that Yahweh was capable of anything and the Savior of any who follow and obey Him. How many times had Elisha witnessed that very salvation, of individuals and of nations?
As his prayers ended with the sun was rising, Elisha got up and left his bedroom. The servant quickly offered to get Elisha some water and moved to pick up their water jar to fill it up at the well outside. The servant opened the jar, saw the horizon and trembled in horror. There, framing the hillside, was row after row of their enemy soldiers, with spears and swords in hand and he knew they were after his master Elisha. Elisha turned towards the door when the servant began questioning, with fear and tears in his voice, what they would possibly do. Elisha moved to his doorway and saw the enemy lines, as if assessing the threat, before calmly turning to his servant to say, "do not be afraid. Those who are with us are more than those who are with them."
"WHAT??? DO NOT BE AFRAID??? WE ARE GOING TO DIE AND PROBABLY SLOWLY TORTURED FIRST! AND YOU WANT ME TO NOT BE AFRAID???
THOSE WHO ARE WITH US??? DO YOU SEE ANYONE ELSE IN THIS HOUSE BESIDES YOU AND ME?? IF YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT THE TOWNSPEOPLE, WE ARE STILL GREATLY OUTNUMBERED...SO WHAT YOU COULD YOU POSSIBLY MEAN???"
Elisha take a deep calm breath, holding back the knowing smile that threatens to break through, and simply prays. He prays that his servants eyes would be open.
And all of a sudden, the servant felt like what could only be described as a veil being lifted, and much to his astonishment, he saw those who were with him and Elisha. There, in between the soldiers and the town, was another army; row after row after row of soldiers, horses, and chariots all made fire! The fire army numerically far surpassed King A's army. The servant immediately knew that Yahweh was saving them once again.
__________
The story continues but I'll stop here. It's rather quite a wonderful story. I would love to see that fire army! And to see Elisha's confidence in the salvation of God! Anyhow, I hope you've enjoy my little elaborated narrative. What Bible story would you like to see on the Heavenly big screen?
Thursday, October 6
Tuesday, October 4
Lean not on what makes sense...part 3
**to read part 1, to read part 2**
As I mentioned, in June I said no to Ohio.
However, with the "pause" over continuing education, dare I hope that Ohio could actually still have an opening these couple months later? So I emailed the director...
And the next day I heard back saying that he still had one position to fill! I asked to be considered for that opening, if possible. So on October 15th, I'll be having an interview. I'm one of three girls being considered for this one position. And the funny thing is, they are only slotting 30 minutes for the interview. However, now that I'm slatted for an interview, I feel a bit ambivalent about this position. I think it's partly because if the job goes to one of the other two girls, it simply means that this is not the ministry for me. And a closed door is fine.
Side story: Before I actually contacted the director, I was chatting with my mentor/friend about this ministry. Like me, she thinks this ministry is completely complimentary of my personality. So she prayed that this ministry would contact me about an open position and even if I contacted them that God would make it clear whether or not this is the ministry for me. That night, after the prayer, is when I decided to just go ahead and email the director. Side story over.
But where the unexpected twist occurs, is that approximately 4 days later, the ministry in Maryland contacted me out of the blue! I get to work that morning, check my email and low and behold, there is an email waiting to be read, that asks if I am still looking for a ministry and interested in their program...if so, they one spot to fill. My initial reaction was stunned silence. In fact I didn't say or do anything about this for at least 24 hours. But nor could I ignore it. After all, my mentor/friend had prayed that the ministry would contact ME and while she wasn't praying about Maryland, here is a ministry that did just what she prayed for. So after prayer and thought, I emailed back to say that I was interested.
At the end of that week, we had two phone calls (because the first call had to be cut short since I needed to go to work) and talked all of 4 hours about the ministry and myself. I was honest with this gal that I was flying out to Ohio for an interview but wasn't sure how things would turn out. So anyhow, where things stand now with Maryland, is that I just sent in the rest of paperwork that they wanted from me with various other questions that were not covered in our interviews along with the references.
It's a bit of a waiting game. Waiting for my interview in Ohio (now 1.5 weeks away). Waiting to hear back from Maryland. Waiting for more of God's wisdom and guidance.
Where things get "messy" is that in addition to these two ministries, I was also made aware of a position in Thailand overseeing a guest house. I applied for that more spontaneously than was probably wise. While this sounds exciting and while I would LOVE the hospitality element, I think this position would be about half administrative, which I would DISLIKE. And then...yes I know, a plethora of options...my friends in Mexico really REALLY want me to join them. I don't know how I feel about that ministry. Part of me genuinely wants to go but I wonder if that's the part of me that misses them and knows I would enjoy working with them. So I don't know. Another thing I keep thinking of is that for either Mexico or Maryland, I could always give it a try for a year...no harm in that. Then if it's not for me, I could move on. But that line of thinking doesn't lead me any closer to an answer.
All I know, in that all of these options, my life will be changing soon! At some time from mid-November to February...I'll be moving onward and outward. (November is really really soon...eek!)
So that's my story, thus far. None of this is what I would have predicted or planned for my life. However I'm learning that the Lord doesn't always lead us onto the path that is full of understanding. But that is when trusting the Lord because a reality.
As I mentioned, in June I said no to Ohio.
However, with the "pause" over continuing education, dare I hope that Ohio could actually still have an opening these couple months later? So I emailed the director...
And the next day I heard back saying that he still had one position to fill! I asked to be considered for that opening, if possible. So on October 15th, I'll be having an interview. I'm one of three girls being considered for this one position. And the funny thing is, they are only slotting 30 minutes for the interview. However, now that I'm slatted for an interview, I feel a bit ambivalent about this position. I think it's partly because if the job goes to one of the other two girls, it simply means that this is not the ministry for me. And a closed door is fine.
Side story: Before I actually contacted the director, I was chatting with my mentor/friend about this ministry. Like me, she thinks this ministry is completely complimentary of my personality. So she prayed that this ministry would contact me about an open position and even if I contacted them that God would make it clear whether or not this is the ministry for me. That night, after the prayer, is when I decided to just go ahead and email the director. Side story over.
But where the unexpected twist occurs, is that approximately 4 days later, the ministry in Maryland contacted me out of the blue! I get to work that morning, check my email and low and behold, there is an email waiting to be read, that asks if I am still looking for a ministry and interested in their program...if so, they one spot to fill. My initial reaction was stunned silence. In fact I didn't say or do anything about this for at least 24 hours. But nor could I ignore it. After all, my mentor/friend had prayed that the ministry would contact ME and while she wasn't praying about Maryland, here is a ministry that did just what she prayed for. So after prayer and thought, I emailed back to say that I was interested.
At the end of that week, we had two phone calls (because the first call had to be cut short since I needed to go to work) and talked all of 4 hours about the ministry and myself. I was honest with this gal that I was flying out to Ohio for an interview but wasn't sure how things would turn out. So anyhow, where things stand now with Maryland, is that I just sent in the rest of paperwork that they wanted from me with various other questions that were not covered in our interviews along with the references.
It's a bit of a waiting game. Waiting for my interview in Ohio (now 1.5 weeks away). Waiting to hear back from Maryland. Waiting for more of God's wisdom and guidance.
Where things get "messy" is that in addition to these two ministries, I was also made aware of a position in Thailand overseeing a guest house. I applied for that more spontaneously than was probably wise. While this sounds exciting and while I would LOVE the hospitality element, I think this position would be about half administrative, which I would DISLIKE. And then...yes I know, a plethora of options...my friends in Mexico really REALLY want me to join them. I don't know how I feel about that ministry. Part of me genuinely wants to go but I wonder if that's the part of me that misses them and knows I would enjoy working with them. So I don't know. Another thing I keep thinking of is that for either Mexico or Maryland, I could always give it a try for a year...no harm in that. Then if it's not for me, I could move on. But that line of thinking doesn't lead me any closer to an answer.
All I know, in that all of these options, my life will be changing soon! At some time from mid-November to February...I'll be moving onward and outward. (November is really really soon...eek!)
So that's my story, thus far. None of this is what I would have predicted or planned for my life. However I'm learning that the Lord doesn't always lead us onto the path that is full of understanding. But that is when trusting the Lord because a reality.
Saturday, October 1
Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself in the Lord
and He will give you the desires of your heart
Psalm 37:4
What does this verse mean??
It is commonly used, in Christian circles, as verse of promise and feel-good encouragement. A warm cozy blanket verse to remind the Christian that they are loved and cherished.
And yet, how many Christians out there feel cheated? That God has somehow overlooked them? Or how many Christians feel confused as in, since I don't have what I want, does that mean I don't delight enough in the Lord?
The verse obviously offers no time frame. So does this verse mean to delight yourself faithfully in the Lord, despite your current circumstances, and eventually God will bless you with the desires of your heart?
One teaching that I've heard over the years is that as you delight yourself in the Lord, your desires change to the things that are His desires, and then as they match, God will give you those things, bringing you much joy in the process...but they things may not be the same things as you originally thought you wanted. While I think there is some validity to this line of thinking, I'm not convinced that this is a completely accurate explanation.
For example...and I suppose this is my biggest "hang-up" as well...the topic of singleness and marriage. I've wanted to be married my whole life, more or less. Being a wife and mom has always been a part of my envisioned future and yet, it evades me. I will readily admit, along the lines of that previously mentioned teaching, that in my singleness there has been much delight and joy. The Lord has indeed blessed me every step of the way. I can even look at times of trial and see God's goodness permeating through those times. And I do believe that in my relationship with Him, He has planted some of His desires in my heart, making them also my own. But despite all this, the desire for a husband and a family remains. In fact, if anything, the desire has grown with time. Do I feel cheated or overlooked? No, not necessarily because I know that God is here with me, fully aware of this heart desire, and will be faithful to me, regardless of what my future looks like.
But I still struggle when I hear this verse. Am I understanding this verse incorrectly? Does it mean something more than what I think it says? If God doesn't provide a husband and family, does that mean that He has broken this promise? I don't know...
P.S. I don't like the thought that God might break a promise. The resason it doesn't sit well is because I know it is impossible...He has never broken one yet. But how do you explain this verse to the couple who remains childless, the person unable to find a job, or the person who never gets married. I don't know...
But what I do know and am thankful for is that my God's shoulders are big enough to handle my questions and dreams. So on this note, I'm signing off again and finally going to bed. :)
Tuesday, September 27
Lean not on what makes sense...part 2
**In case you haven't read the first part...go here!**
So I chose a school and program. Applied and got accepted. Started making plans to move across the country. Told everyone what God had in store for me next. Until...
five weeks ago!
About five weeks ago, I started to feel a "pause"...I keep using the word "pause" because at no point yet have I heard a clear "NO"...just more an unsettled question mark that school is where I am supposed to go. So I began praying that if this is God telling me "NO" that I would have the ears to hear.
So I began to consider...if I don't do school, is ministry next for me?
At the beginning of the year, knowing my graduation was in sight, I started looking at various ministries. I applied to a non-profit organization in Ohio, that works with girls pull from trafficking. I applied to a non-profit ministry in Maryland, that works with pregnant girls. I considered missions especially as my friends were called and left for ministry in Mexico, with pleas for me to follow. But nothing came of those ministries. Nothing happened until June.
In the meanwhile, I considered continuing school and made the decision to apply.
But in June, the trafficking ministry in Ohio emailed me to say that they had one position left to fill and my application is next...am I still interested? However, I said "no" in light of the fact that I had recently chosen to continue education. And so that door closed.
Every so often I would reflect how perfect it had sounded for my personality.
You see, I still hold to the thought that my job in Germany was perfect for me. What was it that I liked so much? The care-taking, the nurturing, the living together and speaking into "my kids" lives more than just once or twice a week, like a youth pastor. Truth be told, all I've ever wanted, my entire life, is to be a wife and mom. I've realized that I don't necessarily need to be a mom to my own kids but find joy in the idea of being a mom to any kid. And both the Ohio and Maryland jobs offer those care-taking, nurturing elements.
But as I mentioned, in June I said no to Ohio.
However, with the "pause" over continuing education, dare I hope that Ohio could actually still have an opening these couple months later? So I emailed the director...
So I chose a school and program. Applied and got accepted. Started making plans to move across the country. Told everyone what God had in store for me next. Until...
five weeks ago!
About five weeks ago, I started to feel a "pause"...I keep using the word "pause" because at no point yet have I heard a clear "NO"...just more an unsettled question mark that school is where I am supposed to go. So I began praying that if this is God telling me "NO" that I would have the ears to hear.
So I began to consider...if I don't do school, is ministry next for me?
At the beginning of the year, knowing my graduation was in sight, I started looking at various ministries. I applied to a non-profit organization in Ohio, that works with girls pull from trafficking. I applied to a non-profit ministry in Maryland, that works with pregnant girls. I considered missions especially as my friends were called and left for ministry in Mexico, with pleas for me to follow. But nothing came of those ministries. Nothing happened until June.
In the meanwhile, I considered continuing school and made the decision to apply.
But in June, the trafficking ministry in Ohio emailed me to say that they had one position left to fill and my application is next...am I still interested? However, I said "no" in light of the fact that I had recently chosen to continue education. And so that door closed.
Every so often I would reflect how perfect it had sounded for my personality.
You see, I still hold to the thought that my job in Germany was perfect for me. What was it that I liked so much? The care-taking, the nurturing, the living together and speaking into "my kids" lives more than just once or twice a week, like a youth pastor. Truth be told, all I've ever wanted, my entire life, is to be a wife and mom. I've realized that I don't necessarily need to be a mom to my own kids but find joy in the idea of being a mom to any kid. And both the Ohio and Maryland jobs offer those care-taking, nurturing elements.
But as I mentioned, in June I said no to Ohio.
However, with the "pause" over continuing education, dare I hope that Ohio could actually still have an opening these couple months later? So I emailed the director...
Saturday, September 24
Lean not on what makes sense...part 1
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding.
Back in May, my current pastor came out to candidate, at my church, and preached on Proverbs 3:5-6. A very familiar passage...one that I've had memorized for years and years, and have heard many sermons on. A favorite verse of many that I thought was good but definitely not my favorite (**side note: I have a weird aversion towards things that are wildly popular...like this verse or Jeremiah 29:11 or the song Amazing Grace...they are all good but over-adored by Christians, which I know is a ridiculous thought process.) So when this pastor starts in, I settle in for the sermon I could (naively) preach without preparation. But it ended up being the very thing what I needed to hear that Sunday in May.
As you devoted (despite my infrequency) longer-time (as in the last 3-6 months) readers/friends know, I have been waffling in what comes next my life.
Call to ministry...check!
Bachelor's degree and overseas experience...check! check!
Stable job...check!
Master's degree...check!
Deciding what to do next...check?
Do I move into ministry? Do I do more schooling? Do I pursue mission? Do I wait for a divine neon sign to tell me what to do and where to go?
My mentor friend loaned me a book by Erwin McManus, called Chasing Daylight. To summarize it, Erwin argues that there are some things you don't need to ask God for permission to do...you have already been called. You have already been anointed or chosen or equipped to do things...so do them! Just be willing to stop if God tells you to stop!
With this mentality, along with that May sermon to not put all my faith in what necessarily makes sense, I chose more school.
Can I do this? Yes!
Will I enjoy this? Yes!
Can I be successful at this? Yes!
Did God create this studious nature within me? Yes!
So should I be a student again? Yes?
So I chose a school and program. Applied and got accepted. Started making plans to move across the country. Told everyone what God had in store for me next. Until...
and lean not on your own understanding.
Back in May, my current pastor came out to candidate, at my church, and preached on Proverbs 3:5-6. A very familiar passage...one that I've had memorized for years and years, and have heard many sermons on. A favorite verse of many that I thought was good but definitely not my favorite (**side note: I have a weird aversion towards things that are wildly popular...like this verse or Jeremiah 29:11 or the song Amazing Grace...they are all good but over-adored by Christians, which I know is a ridiculous thought process.) So when this pastor starts in, I settle in for the sermon I could (naively) preach without preparation. But it ended up being the very thing what I needed to hear that Sunday in May.
As you devoted (despite my infrequency) longer-time (as in the last 3-6 months) readers/friends know, I have been waffling in what comes next my life.
Call to ministry...check!
Bachelor's degree and overseas experience...check! check!
Stable job...check!
Master's degree...check!
Deciding what to do next...check?
Do I move into ministry? Do I do more schooling? Do I pursue mission? Do I wait for a divine neon sign to tell me what to do and where to go?
My mentor friend loaned me a book by Erwin McManus, called Chasing Daylight. To summarize it, Erwin argues that there are some things you don't need to ask God for permission to do...you have already been called. You have already been anointed or chosen or equipped to do things...so do them! Just be willing to stop if God tells you to stop!
With this mentality, along with that May sermon to not put all my faith in what necessarily makes sense, I chose more school.
Can I do this? Yes!
Will I enjoy this? Yes!
Can I be successful at this? Yes!
Did God create this studious nature within me? Yes!
So should I be a student again? Yes?
So I chose a school and program. Applied and got accepted. Started making plans to move across the country. Told everyone what God had in store for me next. Until...
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