Tuesday, March 12

Single in my 30's

Being single in your 30's is different, in several ways, than being single in your 20's. This idea and my thoughts on my singleness have been rolling around in my head over the last week or two, as my next birthday looms ahead of me, in a couple months.

As I once again shared my pain-filled heart with a dear friend, I wrote her the following:

I forget how it was worded but an intern girl made a comment this summer that she'll be married by 25...or something like that. She is a young thing (19 or 20 yrs old). When I heard her, I asked her what if God has other plans, to which she responded along the lines "I'm pretty sure I won't be single when I'm 30." To which I responded, "I never planned to be single in my 30's either."

Do you get tired my singleness emails?

I hope that despite the fact that I ride a roller coaster of contentment and grief, that there is at least a growing maturity and a deepened faith in me. I feel that there is. While the grief still hits me in the gut from time to time, there is an assurance that anchors my heart and mind to the Lord. Who but my Beloved can I turn to, when I know that He hears and understands, more than any other?

Talking through my pain allows me to once again put myself in the faithful and trustworthy hands of God. He has never failed me yet.

Two days ago, I was talking with a dear single friend. I didn't set out that day to talk about singleness and contentment even though it was very much on my mind. However, it was on her mind as well and she instantly brought it up, allowing us to encourage each other for the next hour. Towards the end she said, "I don't know if you are blessed in your singleness but I am being blessed by your singleness." Tears rushed to my eyes and my heart sang "yes! yes Lord. This is what I want. I want my singleness to bring You glory as I continue to seek and wait on You."

I don't write all this to pat myself on the back...it's just to share my thoughts of a single 30+ woman who occasionally struggles but is learning to look to God.


Mindy said...

I love your blunt honesty. It's hard to be content sometimes! What an encouragement to know how that helps others.

Mindy said...

Thanks...hopefully that's a good honesty and not just word vomit. :) It is hard to be content sometimes...regarding singleness, possessions, whatever. We need to let our restlessness to God.