Tuesday, November 30

Practicing deep breathing!

My life feels like its spinning wildly around me...I'm trying to focus on something, anything but often feel like I'm just standing there in the middle watching the blur around me.

Work has picked up, which is a good time in light of this economy. There are higher demands, more frequent requests, and lots more paperwork needed...that last of which makes me want to sigh deeply. I can't seem to stay on top of it all. Then in addition to this is the accounting side...processing invoices, reconciling brokerage, pulling out orders and filing them away. This side has been sadly neglected because it's not urgent. Then on top of that, it's the Christmas season which means I need to put together and assemble the Christmas card/letter that we send out to 300 people. While this isn't important at all in my mind, it obviously cannot be put off indefinitely or it will become a New Year's letter or Valentine's letter...not so great as it is on Christmasy paper.

And then there's school. I have two weeks left of this class (hooray!). While the pace isn't necessarily picking up it definitely adds to my daily load. I usually work on homework during my lunch hours but today and yesterday, I didn't even take the hour due to work commitments. That simply means more to do in the evening. Finish well is my motto for school. Sadly, this doesn't even account for my thesis paper which is lingering...hanging...fermenting...neglected. It will definitely get my attention as of December 12th.

And then in my longing to move out of this particular job and into ministry, I'm looking and thinking and praying. There's a verse in the Bible where it says the Spirit hears our groanings as prayers...I feel like I am mentally or emotionally groaning with uncertainty, pleading for wisdom and direction from God. Even when I'm not speaking, it's weighing on my mind to a degree. I applied to a school in the Dominican Republic but am feeling a bit hesitant. Is the hesitancy my own uncertainties due to a new unknown scenario or is it God closing the door? I also found out a boarding school in Korea is hiring...I would love to apply but am I just retreating to the ministry I "know" because it's easier than waiting for something different? Questions, questions, questions...

Lastly, there's the current holiday season and daily living activities. Christmas parties, chiropractor appointments, Christmas plays, exercise, Christmas dinners, meetings, Christmas shopping, Sunday school teaching and on and on...while I enjoy most of what is on the calendar, at this moment it's just more on my plate.

Thank goodness for coffee breaks...10 minutes to run away from my work commitments. Thank goodness for blogs and friends who make me laugh or smile or think about something other than my life. Thank goodness that God is in control because I certainly am not.


Kaye said...

I'm exhausted just reading this list. In the words of my head teacher & Dory the fish "just keep swimming!"

DeMo said...

Lots to do!

Wouldn't it be nice if there was a guidebook to life, and you'd know whether those uncertainties are your own or God's?

Take time to spend with God daily. I found this blog today about daily readings about Advent. It might help to calm the chaos for you!
Advent Blog Tour

Mindy said...

Kaye, Dory has a good point!

DeMo, it's been awhile! I hope you are well! I'll check out the advent blog tour..thanks!