Bruises, Blessings & Busyness

Have I ever written about the two years I spent in Germany? If I have, it was probably in regards to my kids there or my travels and nothing more. I worked at a boarding school. My role was to take care of the kids while they attended the school...I did all the things that parents would for their kids: cook, clean, help them with homework, tuck them in at night, drive them to school, play, discipline, and love them! I loved my ministry. It was the best job I've ever had thus far! It was also the hardest two years of my life.

I'm not going to get into details. But I came home from my two years feeling quite bruised. My church dropped the ball in receiving me home and so, besides my immediate family, I felt I had nobody and became emotionally withdrawn.

I've been home from Germany for 4 years now and I feel that over the last year and half, life has been breathed into me once again. It has been a lot harder to "re-open" myself up than it was to withdrawl. The process of "re-opening" myself has made me feel more emotionally spastic.

Anyhow, this past week at my church was mission's week. One of our guest missionaries was the dad of one of my Germany kids. It was wonderful to see him again and to catch up with his family. What I did not expect was last night.

Last night, I was hanging out with my friends, Brian and Erin, and Mark, the missionary. At one point during the night, Mark looked at me and said he had a big question for me. He proceeded to ask me to talk about my two years in Germany and asking specific questions about how I felt about this or how I reacted to that. **inhale, exhale** I talked and talked and talked. He listened, encouraged, and breathed a blessing over me.

I went home (and woke up this morning) thinking over and over how much of a blessing that was to me. It is one thing to share the bruises with those who didn't see that part of my life but it is another thing to share with someone who understands. I am still basking in the unexpected blessing. But having talked/relived those experiences has also left my heart feeling bruised again.

I expect those bruises will always be imprinted on my heart, to some degree.

One message I have been hearing this week, both from the missionaries and from God, is that God has a plan for me. I have a phone call scheduled with the a key person next Friday, the 12th. My last couple conversations didn't go so well, in my opinion, so I want to make sure that I am ready. I want to spend some time early next week, thinking through who I am, how God has made and equipped me, and what I can offer in ministry. I have some work to do. But first I need to get through this busy homework week...no rest for the weary...at least not until Saturday, the last day of class.

**Today starts my February challenge: walking or running 4 times a week. I did really good with January's challenge except for this past weekend. I forgot to take home my water bottle and just didn't drink enough water.

Purple Mountain Majesties

All I can say is that I wish I had a camera with me this morning.

On my way to work, I take this one highway every day which, at one point, is heading east. On clear days, you can see the entire Cascade mountain range and even Mount Rainer. Always beautiful.

This morning, the sun was rising and the skies were splattered with pink and purple hues, all of which were surrounding Mount Rainer.

I know my words don't effectively create the beauty of that scene and moment. But trust me, it was beautiful. And it was just what I needed to start my day.

**Update--And now the sun is gone...well, not gone, just hiding behind our usual layer of grey clouds. Wow, that sounds gloomy. But hey, even that could have great spiritual implications, right?

Thanksgiving Thankfulness Part 3

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I'm sitting here watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade...it makes me want to watch "Miracle on 34th St."

In reflecting on what I am most thankful for, it occurs to me that everything good about my life is because of God. So I am most thankful for Him. I'm thankful that He is Emmanuel...God with us. I'm thankful for the path He has led me on, even though there are things I'd change if I could...I trust that His path/plan is better! I'm thankful that because of Him I have salvation, companionship, forgiveness and a reason for living.

He was, He is and He always will be the only God worth serving and loving.

Thanksgiving Thankfulness, Part 2

I was all mentally set to post about being thankful for the energy that God provides....but.....this morning while doing my morning blog scan to see what has been newly posted, I came across Ryan Detzel's post on being thankful for something strange. So I decided to go with it.

I am thankful for repeats on TV.

--When I am in school, I appreciate repeats since it gives me a good excuse to turn off the TV without feeling like I'm going to miss something on my favorite shows.
--On the weekends or in the summer, I'm thankful that some shows are repeated so that I can find out what I missed when it originally aired.
--And when there is still nothing good on and I've all the repeats I'm interested in seeing, I'm thankful that repeats give me an opportunity to read a book (again, with the knowledge that I am not missing anything exciting).

I know this makes it sound like I watch TV all the time...I really don't. I just have a few shows that I "need" to watch each week and a couple others I watch whenever the stars align. And I know that DVR would aid in the process of seeing what I've missed but really...I'm a student...I don't have time for all that TV. I'm better off with repeats!

Thanksgiving Thankfulness, Part 1

I have a friend who is love and joy in flesh. I've known her for about 12 years but have only become close over the last 6 years.

She is quick to ask how things are going and will specifically inquire over certain elements of my life (school, time with God, running, ministry, boys, etc...whichever she knows is a main focus/struggle at that time). Because of her direct yet warm-hearted questions, I am continually challenged, both from conviction and encouragement, to persevere and to seek what is good.

She is so good at inquiring about me and getting me to talk that I find at times after we've met together, I have failed to inquire about her since I talked. The. Whole. Time. She has offered me such support and prayers over the years. I would not be me without her.

She is presently going through some health struggles: feeling tired, in pain, and even a bit weepy. And yet, she trusts God to provide for her and finds joy wherever joy is to be found. Due to her steady flow of doctor's appointments and my current class load, we haven't been able to connect for about 2 months and I miss her. During this season of her life, I want to be someone who can support and pray over her. Thankfully, prayers are not bound by struggles or commitments.

In the season of thanksgiving, I am thankful for her. God has made her wise, Jesus is her joy, and the Spirit draws people to Himself through her. When I grow up, I want to be like her and I think God is okay with that since she mirrors Him fairly well.

S.A.D. no more

Okay, I never had Seasonal Affective Disorder to begin with...it's too early in our overcast, rainy, cold season to have it. But today, God gave me 20 minutes of summer...pure bliss.

It was stinkin cold as I stumbled out to my car to leave for work so as soon as my car warmed up a little bit, I cranked up the heat and blasted myself with heat the whole ride to work. In addition to that, we have sun today (the rain returns tomorrow!). So I'm driving to work, being blast with heat and feeling the sun on my face. For 20 minutes I pretended that it was summer time not winter. That, along with my summer sun reservoir, should shoo away any trace of the S.A.D. until at least the end of January! I'm golden....well, not physically, only emotionally, and even then, I know it's debatable! But around here, I'll take what I can get!

Thank You Jesus Moment

If you're busy and you know it, clap your hands! *clap, clap*
If you're busy and you know it, clap your hands! *clap, clap*
If you're busy and you know it, trust the Lord and just don't blow it
Just be still, He'll walk you through it, clap your hands! *clap, clap*

This week, I only had one night at home (Monday)...every other night has been and is full of meetings and/or weekend commitments. I was beginning to wonder how and when I'd possibly get my homework done for this week (due Sunday by 10pm). Then the Good Lord blesses me with a night off...my meeting tonight was cancelled. Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and all that in within me!

I could do a little jig right now except that I really need to get to my homework!
So over and out for now!

An Unexpected Gift

I was given a gift yesterday...the gift of 7 more days.

I have been telling people that school starts for me on October 12. I was down to my final two weeks and feeling a little anxious about that. Not anxious because I'm not ready for school to start and not because of the class subject (Strategic Planning-whatever that means) but anxious because my schedule has been so full lately...how will I possible handle everything with school added to my schedule?

When I got to work yesterday, I pulled out my work calendar which also contains a number of personal activities. To my delight, I saw that I had penciled in that school starts not on October 12th but on October 19th. This makes me so happy. Plus in addition to this, one of my main activities over the last couple weeks will be concluding October 11th. Sigh...it's all good...Someone is taking care of me.

Thank-you-Jesus Moments

I haven't felt inspired to write anything over the last few weeks...life feeling pretty mundane, until today.

For my current class (Data-Driven Decision Making), I have to write a research paper using data. The very first week of class was when we had to declare our topic. The only topic I could think of was regarding the Great Commission Fund (GCF) of the Christian & Missionary Alliance (C&MA). Ever since declaring that as my topic I have been apprehensive, like I'm opening a can of worms. Key reason being is that I am going to a C&MA school and the President of the school is my professor for this class, who is incidentally, also on the board of directors for the C&MA. But feeling locked into the topic, I forged ahead. Quickly I concluded that I am way WAY over my head here...not that I can't handle or prepare this paper properly but that WAY more time is needed than the 6 weeks I was given. I emailed my district office asking for the information I needed/wanted from them (half believing they would never give it to me) and emailed my pastor (ever supportive of my education) for info on my church's giving.

I had concluded about two days ago that I was going to get a poor grade on this paper and that the only research I would have would be solely on my church family, which would give me a full 3 pages of the 8-10 I need. However today, I heard back from my district and they gave me EVERYTHING I asked for, which is much more than I expected. Now I am pretty confident I can get at least 6 pages, if not more.

Relief and gratitude abound!

Thank-you-Jesus Moments

Today I am thankful for Jehovah Jireh, the Lord who provides.

Whenever I am (really) tired, I get emotional. Yesterday at work, I was feeling cranky, tired, and emotional and wondering how I would ever get my homework done before my plane leaves tomorrow morning.

I went home, made a pot of coffee and perked up. God gave me sustaining energy until midnight, which was enough time for me to complete a major assignment, take a quiz, and post a comment on the class' discussion page. All I have left to do is respond to two other student's comments and I am good to go...the class will be finished. I am confident I'll have this done today during my lunch break. Hallelujah!

This is such a burden lifted...now this means that I can enjoy tonight and not stress as much.
The Lord is helping me finish well!

Thank you Jesus Moment

Thank you Jesus for dinner and game night with friends! And for a parking spot near my apartment when I arrive home late at night!

Thank you Jesus Moment

Thank you Jesus for unexpected phone calls.

I received a call at work yesterday from a colleague at another company. Over the past year, this guy and I have developed a friendship over the phone. It has been a few months since we've had a work-related reason to chat and yesterday he called me up, "just to say hi!"

I like those conversations. We had a nice little chat.
It made the rest of my work day easy to enjoy.

Thank-you-Jesus Moments

I love "Thank-you-Jesus!" moments. Little moments where I am surprised, delighted, or overwhelmed at how He provided for my needs. Let me share a recent moment:

I am working on my Master's degree, which is all on-line. My classes are only 7 weeks long and are geared for the working adult. Well, my next class starts Monday, March 30th and I was looking at the syllabus about a week ago just to see what I am heading into. In all my past classes, we have until midnight on Saturday or Sunday (as selected by the teacher) to submit all our homework for the week. This is important because I only have the weeknights and weekends to accomplish all my homework, since I work M-F, 8-5pm. Anyhow, on the syllabus for this next class, the deadline was 12 Noon on Saturdays...I about choked, cried, and went into cardiac arrest when I read that because that meant I needed to have all my homework done on Friday night essentially or wake up pretty darn early to finish by Noon on Saturday. Well, I decided to just ask the teacher if there was any way she'd graciously extend the cut off time until 11:59:59pm since 12 Noon just seemed so limiting. And guess what? She agreed!

This is a "huge" thank-you-Jesus moment for me.

As a side note, I'm going to try to regularly post "thank-you-Jesus" moments. I think its important to see Jesus in the little things of life and to recognize His work. Plus, it will be a good exercise for me to look for the little joys of life.