He withholds no good thing

For the Lord God is a sun and shield;

the Lord bestows favor and honor;

no good thing does he withhold

from those whose walk is blameless.

Psalm 84:11 (NIV)

"But how is this true, when God oftentimes withholds riches and honours, and health of body from men, though they walk never so uprightly; we may therefore know that honours and riches and bodily strength, are none of God's good things; they are of the number of things indifferent which God bestows promiscuously upon the just and unjust, as the rain to fall and the sun to shine. The good things of God are chiefly peace of conscience and the joy in the Holy Ghost in this life; fruition of God's presence, and vision of his blessed face in the next..."

--by Charles Spurgeon

Self-Control

I just finished reading a Christian-fiction book where a godly man mentioned that he was not a man controlled by his urges.

This comment has got me thinking.

Am I controlled by my urges? Or rather, how often am I controlled by my urges rather than practicing self-control?

For me, this includes food choices, superfluous spending, and giving myself the night off instead of taking myself to the gym like I know I should.

One of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control. Practicing discipline can be hard, especially when a years of selfish choices have created habits that are hard to break. And yet, to be a person not controlled by any selfish urge, is a person who is truly free. Free to be the person that God has destined them to be.

And that is what I want.

So in light of that, some plans need to be created and I must begin to practice the word "NO." Truthfully, to fight these urges is a big job...so big that it feels overwhelming...but God is greater and gives greater grace. That, my friends, gives me the motivation to move forward.

The next step

Life is a whirlwind at the moment.
I'm moving to Mexico!

In the month or so prior to moving, I have oodles of stuff to do. This rush is quite normal I think.

• I have to sort and pack my stuff, sell off and give away some things.
• Keep working 40 hours/week and soon begin training my replacement.
• Get the myriad of things lined up, like car maintenance, doctor and dentist appts.
• Plus, of course visit a multitude of people.

I keep thinking that I can relax and recharge when I get to Mexico but even that evokes a chuckle as the summer is the busiest time, according to my friends, Brian and Erin, who are already down there. I'm pretty it will be more like hitting the ground running.


So, what will I be doing down there?
I will be partnering with the Envision site down in Ensenada, Mexico.

Envision is a division of the Christian & Missionary Alliance that is focused on short-term missions, for one week or up to two years. It's for both individuals or teams. The heart of this division is to "mobilize the next generation for Kingdom change."

My role will be to help provide leadership to this Ensenada location. This will include to help oversee the teams that will be coming down to serve in Ensenada (more next summer than this summer when I'm so new), connect/engage with the local Mexican church in supporting their ministries, and participating in whatever ministries God puts before me. This field seems ripe with opportunities to work with youth and children, which is where my heart is.

So why me? Why this field?
Well, funny story actually. Serving in Mexico (or any other Latin/South American country) was never on my radar. Whenever I tried to imagine where God might use and send me, I always concluded it would be in Europe or Asia. And yet, in the last two months (I know, this has been quite fast!) God has so transformed my heart, building up an excitement for the opportunities and possibilities that await in Ensenada and surrounding areas.

As for why me? Well, God has been cultivating and refining me in the last six years since I returned from Germany. In this time of waiting (for a new ministry direction), God has used this time to teach me about how He has wired me and to become okay with that. Without going into the many details, something happened that shook me to the core and made me question my ability to serve in ministry, even though I knew that God had placed a specific calling on my life. Anyhow, in the past six years, God has been "restoring my soul" (Psalm 23:3) and I know now that He is the One who has given me a heart for children and youth. He is the One who breaks my heart for the vulnerable and hurting. He is the One who desires to use me "to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with my God" (Micah 6:8). I am by no mean perfect or have a perfect relationship with God...I still have much growth ahead of me. But that's what this life-journey is about, right?

Anyhow, that's a little synopsis. This blog may be somewhat quiet in the month ahead of me, as I prepare to move south, but I'll do my best to keep you posted.

James

For the past 7 weeks, I've been a part of a woman's Bible Study, at my church. This is the first time ever that I have joined, mostly because either I was already busy on Tuesday nights or I was in school and busy enough with homework and commitments. I joined this one, however, when I heard they would going to do Beth Moore's study on James.

I think it's always been in my head that the author of James was James, the brother of John...one of Jesus' disciples that faithfully followed Jesus from the beginning. This James was also the first disciple to be martyred. However that James is not the author of James.

The author of James is James, the half-brother of Jesus, who did not believe Jesus was the Messiah, the span of Jesus' earthly ministry. I mean, could you blame him? Buddies and playmates as kids, likely. James, a sin-filled boy, growing up in the shadow of his perfect non-sin-filled older brother Jesus. How many times were the two boys compared? Why can't you be like Jesus?!?! A comment like that would be enough to bring up emotions of anger, defeat, rebellion, resentment, or insecurity. And then, if that weren't enough, when the good older brother is grown, He claims to be the long-awaited Messiah...the Son of God. I imagine James thinking He's taking this self-righteous act too far...the Messiah, come on...if He doesn't shut up soon, He's going to be killed. Which is, of course, what happened.

And yet, Jesus saw something in his younger brother (as He sees in all of us)...a person worth redeeming and a leader in the making. After Jesus' resurrection and before He ascended to Heaven, there is one little line where we must assume that James' life was radically transform:

"...that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Cephas, and then to the Twelve. After that, he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers and sisters at the same time, most of whom are still living, though some have fallen asleep. Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles..."  I Corinthians 15:4-7, NASB

That's all we are told. Not a single word of their conversation. But what we do get is a small window into James' life after that interaction with Christ. He is transformed from a scoffer of Christ to the head of the Christian church. An amazing transformation...I can't wait to (hopefully) learn more of this story when I get to Heaven. But this whole post is going a direction I didn't necessarily mean... :)

As part of the final lesson for this Bible Study, I was asked to summarize James' life, with one thought or sentence. When you study the book of James', as well as the few snippets of his life through Paul or Luke's books, it becomes quite apparent that his heart is bent for the vulnerable. James' belief is that every Christian should live in such a way that reflects the faith they have in God, which includes caring for the poor, the widow, and the orphan. Anyhow, there was this one great quote that was in my book, written by Melissa Moore Fitzpatrick (Beth Moore's daughter), that I believe summarizes James fairly well:

"We simply cannot be obedient disciples of the Lord Jesus and continue to willingly choose self-indulgence, all the while ignoring the desperate needs of others."

I love this statement. It challenges my relationship with God and with others. May Jesus continue to bend my heart for the vulnerable so that He may use me, as He used His brother James.



Blog? What blog?

Yes, I know.
I'm barely posting anymore and when I do it ends up being a compliation of thoughts/lists.

But I see a new chapter coming soon.
I'll share more info as soon as I can.
A chapter that (I think) will revive my dying blog...maybe! :)

Until then...