**This post is not meant to be whiny, ungrateful or impatient. I am not even venting...these are just thoughts on work as it stands today and my calling on life. There is a longing in this post but it is grounded on the thought that God is doing a work in me. Just thought I should make this disclaimer! :)
I have been so bored at work since last Wednesday...not enough work coming across my desk. I have worked on the "problems tasks" that I previously ignored, for such a time as this. I have even started the Christmas letter project (a task that I have kind of taken over since working here) just to give myself something to do.
Beyond this past week though, I'm just bored of this job. This job doesn't excite me or use my strengths. I sit at the computer 40 hours a week. I do have good moments when I'm interacting and building relationships with customers but in general, it is pretty apparent that this is not where my heart is. That being said, I am thankful for this job...it is a good job, with a good boss, and fun little perks (the occasional Starbuck's drink, occasionally leaving early, etc...). Plus, it pays the bills and is allowing me to work on my Master's degree.
Anyhow, I've been mewing over "job satisfaction" lately, wondering if it is overrated and more of a generational issue. My grandpa worked 60-80 hours a week at a steel mill to provide for his family. He was diligent and hard-working up until he retired years later. My dad worked 40-80 hours a week at Boeing for 30+ years, in a very stressful situation. He groaned and moaned but was diligent and hard-working to provide for his family. We knew he was unhappy with his job but there was never a question of looking for a new job that pleased him or matched his gifts, for either my dad or grandpa. They just did want needed to be done. I know if I were the sole provider for a family such as my dad and grandpa were, I'd take any job offered to me that would support my family, regardless of likes/dislikes...at least, I think I would.
I know that there have been studies done to show that people who are matched with a job that uses their skills and strengths, are generally more happy and satisfied and are more invested in the company/organization. So there are definite perks to having a job that you enjoy. But when does this need for job satisfaction become all about my wants/desires or just not being content with where you are and with what you have? Moreover, how does one remain content when you are clearly in a job that doesn't suit you? I know it's about finding joy in all circumstances or letting the joy of the Lord be my strength but that's not always easy, especially when you have too much time on your hands.
I think part of the "problem" is that I know what I've been called to do...to be in ministry and be a part of God's mission to share the gospel...and I'm not there. I know this job is temporary...a holding period in my life but I feel like I'm a circle and this job is a square hole...or I'm the square peg in a round hole...however it goes! I have wandered around on the internet to see what ministry jobs are presently out there...but I'm not even sure what I'm looking for at this point...really, I'm just trying to use up working time since its been oh-so-quiet.
Anyhow, thanks for letting me roll this around in my head a bit and keep up the good work!
Wednesday, November 11
Tuesday, November 10
Weekend Adventures in the Kitchen
Last Wednesday, I shared about some recipes I was thinking of trying. I'm sure you've been dying to know what it is I've done....oh....you haven't? Well, bear with me anyways.
Playing in the kitchen is a great way to procrastinate, I mean, try new things! I had a frozen whole chicken that I wanted to play with. So I thawed it out, dressed it up and played "Scrabble" with him. Since I won, I got to eat him. I didn't feel like a roast chicken, although I'm sure that would have been lovely. So I made Chicken A La King. It was pretty darn tasty. I added dill, cumin, and more salt to the recipe. I also thickened my up considerably because I didn't want Chicken a la soup. Served on rice and enjoyed with an episode of Monk.
Last Wednesday, I was also debating on what to do with my remaining Chex cereal. I decided to try the Caramel Corn (only with cereal and not popcorn). My reasoning was that if it flops, I would have no problem throwing it away and saving myself from unnecessary sugar. It didn't flop. Overall, I'd have to say that using popcorn is better...the texture is more suitable. But I have discovered that when you mix caramel with chex, you get Frosted Flakes...seriously, it tastes just like it, even though I don't think Frosted Flakes is supposed to be caramelly.
I know Monday is not part of the weekend but I'm throwing it in anyways for the sake of this entry. Last night I whipped up a batch of Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies. If you click on the link, you will see that they are technically called Old-Fashioned Soft Pumpkin Cookies. Yep, they are soft. I've decided that although soft cookies are yum, it is also nice if there a bit of crispness to the outside. Anyhow, if I were remaking this recipe, I think I'd want to add in some Pumpkin Pie Spice or more pumpkin or substitute Pumpkin Pie Filling for the puree. Basically the cookies are good (worth making) but could use a little more umph!
That's my kitchen update for the week but I could use another cup of coffee!
Playing in the kitchen is a great way to procrastinate, I mean, try new things! I had a frozen whole chicken that I wanted to play with. So I thawed it out, dressed it up and played "Scrabble" with him. Since I won, I got to eat him. I didn't feel like a roast chicken, although I'm sure that would have been lovely. So I made Chicken A La King. It was pretty darn tasty. I added dill, cumin, and more salt to the recipe. I also thickened my up considerably because I didn't want Chicken a la soup. Served on rice and enjoyed with an episode of Monk.
Last Wednesday, I was also debating on what to do with my remaining Chex cereal. I decided to try the Caramel Corn (only with cereal and not popcorn). My reasoning was that if it flops, I would have no problem throwing it away and saving myself from unnecessary sugar. It didn't flop. Overall, I'd have to say that using popcorn is better...the texture is more suitable. But I have discovered that when you mix caramel with chex, you get Frosted Flakes...seriously, it tastes just like it, even though I don't think Frosted Flakes is supposed to be caramelly.
I know Monday is not part of the weekend but I'm throwing it in anyways for the sake of this entry. Last night I whipped up a batch of Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies. If you click on the link, you will see that they are technically called Old-Fashioned Soft Pumpkin Cookies. Yep, they are soft. I've decided that although soft cookies are yum, it is also nice if there a bit of crispness to the outside. Anyhow, if I were remaking this recipe, I think I'd want to add in some Pumpkin Pie Spice or more pumpkin or substitute Pumpkin Pie Filling for the puree. Basically the cookies are good (worth making) but could use a little more umph!
That's my kitchen update for the week but I could use another cup of coffee!
Monday, November 9
Walls
November 9th, 1989. A day that impacted the world.
It's really quite amazing.
24 hours earlier; no wall separating brothers and sisters, parents and childrens, friends and neighbors. 24 hours later; a concrete reminder that your life is controlled and limited.
West Berlin had 30 years of restoration and progress. Money from the Allies poured in.
East Berlin had 30 years of poverty and limitations, the affects that you can see to this day.
Seriously. You can take a bus or tram and see a visible change in the condition of the city when crossing from West to East.
Having walked around Berlin, I've stood where the wall once stood. I've been to Checkpoint Charlie, seen the remaining wall and have read some of the stories.
Did you know that some 5,000 people made it successfully across the wall, into West Berlin? However there were approximately 75,000 others who were caught, imprisoned, or killed.
When I went to Berlin, I did a 4 hour walking tour...best thing I've ever done when traveling. My group was surprised at one point to see a sign that said something to effect of "Bring back Communism!" Only did we realise that although the wall was down and communism was gone in Germany, those communist leaders are still around and some still in governmental positions. After all, this only happened 20 years ago.
Do you how the fall of the wall came to be? Evidently, in order to show more peace-like characteristics, East Germany announced that they would start giving exit visas to whomever wanted to visit West Berlin. The people misunderstood, believing that the East Germans were saying the border was open and rushed the guards, and started tearing the wall, a symbol of oppression. Interesting, huh? (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33587033/ns/news-picture_stories/displaymode/1247/?beginSlide=1)
Oppression is a funny thing. It has a way of cutting you off from those you love and limits what you can and cannot do. If the inhabitants had rushed the guards say 30 years earlier, think of how different their lives would have been. But in the midst of oppression, it is easy to feel like you cannot do anything. It binds your feet, makes you fearful, and keeps you captive for as long as possible. It's destructive and doesn't allow for you to progress. And yet, having a concrete wall in your life is not the end of the story...or at least, it doesn't have to be.
"Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith." Hebrews 12:1-2
It's really quite amazing.
24 hours earlier; no wall separating brothers and sisters, parents and childrens, friends and neighbors. 24 hours later; a concrete reminder that your life is controlled and limited.
West Berlin had 30 years of restoration and progress. Money from the Allies poured in.
East Berlin had 30 years of poverty and limitations, the affects that you can see to this day.
Seriously. You can take a bus or tram and see a visible change in the condition of the city when crossing from West to East.
Having walked around Berlin, I've stood where the wall once stood. I've been to Checkpoint Charlie, seen the remaining wall and have read some of the stories.
Did you know that some 5,000 people made it successfully across the wall, into West Berlin? However there were approximately 75,000 others who were caught, imprisoned, or killed.
When I went to Berlin, I did a 4 hour walking tour...best thing I've ever done when traveling. My group was surprised at one point to see a sign that said something to effect of "Bring back Communism!" Only did we realise that although the wall was down and communism was gone in Germany, those communist leaders are still around and some still in governmental positions. After all, this only happened 20 years ago.
Do you how the fall of the wall came to be? Evidently, in order to show more peace-like characteristics, East Germany announced that they would start giving exit visas to whomever wanted to visit West Berlin. The people misunderstood, believing that the East Germans were saying the border was open and rushed the guards, and started tearing the wall, a symbol of oppression. Interesting, huh? (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33587033/ns/news-picture_stories/displaymode/1247/?beginSlide=1)
Oppression is a funny thing. It has a way of cutting you off from those you love and limits what you can and cannot do. If the inhabitants had rushed the guards say 30 years earlier, think of how different their lives would have been. But in the midst of oppression, it is easy to feel like you cannot do anything. It binds your feet, makes you fearful, and keeps you captive for as long as possible. It's destructive and doesn't allow for you to progress. And yet, having a concrete wall in your life is not the end of the story...or at least, it doesn't have to be.
"Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith." Hebrews 12:1-2
Wednesday, November 4
Christmas, cooking, class
Have I told you about my neighbor? Ahh yes...right here. Well, last night he serenaded me again. His choice of song? The First Noel...I think someone is ready for Christmas! It made me chuckle.
I can definitely tell it is fall/winter season, mainly because I'm in the cooking mood again. Munchies, comfort foods, sweets, etc! Of course, it could also be because I'm in school again. When I'm taking classes, cooking/baking becomes a therapeutic and creative outlet for me. It gives me a break from readin', writin' and arithmetic (except for arithmetic, which isn't a part of my degree) and allows me a few moments of joy. I have pumpkin puree sitting in my freezer and I'm contemplating making Pumpkin Pudding and/or Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies. Plus, I was in the mood for Chex Mix when I last went grocery shopping, which I've already made, and now have extra Chex to use up...do I try to make Caramel Popcorn only with Chex instead of popcorn or Muddy Buddies? But really...do I need all or any of that food hanging around my home? NO (shaking head vigorously)!!! So I need to time my food-making with activities which allow me to share the calories. Right now, my calendar is pretty light, not that I'm complaining. (Although I suppose I could just share without activities...I do have plans to interact with people...I'm not a hermit.) We'll see...
Week 3 of my class...I'm not sure I've adjusted to the school schedule yet, mainly because my first two weeks were quite busy. I need to get into a rhythm which is conducive to the class assignments and stink-load of reading I have to do each week. Not there yet. I have an assignment that is due every Wednesday by 10pm...I'm not ready to do it today because I haven't even done half of my reading yet. Oy vey! It will get done...it always does.
I can definitely tell it is fall/winter season, mainly because I'm in the cooking mood again. Munchies, comfort foods, sweets, etc! Of course, it could also be because I'm in school again. When I'm taking classes, cooking/baking becomes a therapeutic and creative outlet for me. It gives me a break from readin', writin' and arithmetic (except for arithmetic, which isn't a part of my degree) and allows me a few moments of joy. I have pumpkin puree sitting in my freezer and I'm contemplating making Pumpkin Pudding and/or Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies. Plus, I was in the mood for Chex Mix when I last went grocery shopping, which I've already made, and now have extra Chex to use up...do I try to make Caramel Popcorn only with Chex instead of popcorn or Muddy Buddies? But really...do I need all or any of that food hanging around my home? NO (shaking head vigorously)!!! So I need to time my food-making with activities which allow me to share the calories. Right now, my calendar is pretty light, not that I'm complaining. (Although I suppose I could just share without activities...I do have plans to interact with people...I'm not a hermit.) We'll see...
Week 3 of my class...I'm not sure I've adjusted to the school schedule yet, mainly because my first two weeks were quite busy. I need to get into a rhythm which is conducive to the class assignments and stink-load of reading I have to do each week. Not there yet. I have an assignment that is due every Wednesday by 10pm...I'm not ready to do it today because I haven't even done half of my reading yet. Oy vey! It will get done...it always does.
Monday, November 2
What Grabs My Heart
I love it when God "re-grabs" my heart for certain things.
I spent the weekend at a middle-school (6-8th grade) event with about 20 of our church's youth. I never want to go to these weekend things because they are exhausting and I normally dislike being gone all weekend. However, I'm always amazed after weekend events when I come home tired but refreshed and refocused on God, as was this weekend. But I am digressing.
I l.o.v.e. middle school students. Love, love, love! They are at such a good age. They are funny, quirky, genuine, innocent, smart, and accepting. They are easy to get to know and love back easily. They can act mature and reflective one moment and then turn and be entertaining and exuberant the next. They can make me laugh one moment and then make me cry the next.
It was reiterated to me this weekend that middle school students have some deep thoughts. They are so young and yet this is the age when they start wrestling with God, their identity, and their purpose in life. Their thoughts excites me. And the burdens that some of these youth carry around on their shoulders, makes my heart break. Lord, whatever you have in store for my future is fine but please let it include middle-school students somehow!
Another thing that grabs my heart is missions. Our speaker this weekend challenged the youth to be a part of sharing the gospel to those who have never heard. Then he had an alphabetic list of people groups (and the countries they are in) who have minimally heard the gospel or not at all, running on a big screen. We were seriously in the "A's" for at least 4 minutes alone. It broke my heart. I'm willing to go wherever the Lord wants me to go. Here am I, send me!
Lastly, I learned a new song this week that I love: "You're Beautiful" by Phil Wickham. Enjoy.
I spent the weekend at a middle-school (6-8th grade) event with about 20 of our church's youth. I never want to go to these weekend things because they are exhausting and I normally dislike being gone all weekend. However, I'm always amazed after weekend events when I come home tired but refreshed and refocused on God, as was this weekend. But I am digressing.
I l.o.v.e. middle school students. Love, love, love! They are at such a good age. They are funny, quirky, genuine, innocent, smart, and accepting. They are easy to get to know and love back easily. They can act mature and reflective one moment and then turn and be entertaining and exuberant the next. They can make me laugh one moment and then make me cry the next.
It was reiterated to me this weekend that middle school students have some deep thoughts. They are so young and yet this is the age when they start wrestling with God, their identity, and their purpose in life. Their thoughts excites me. And the burdens that some of these youth carry around on their shoulders, makes my heart break. Lord, whatever you have in store for my future is fine but please let it include middle-school students somehow!
Another thing that grabs my heart is missions. Our speaker this weekend challenged the youth to be a part of sharing the gospel to those who have never heard. Then he had an alphabetic list of people groups (and the countries they are in) who have minimally heard the gospel or not at all, running on a big screen. We were seriously in the "A's" for at least 4 minutes alone. It broke my heart. I'm willing to go wherever the Lord wants me to go. Here am I, send me!
Lastly, I learned a new song this week that I love: "You're Beautiful" by Phil Wickham. Enjoy.
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